[Djwood8]

Hey all. Im going to a winter wedding coming up, should say it’s NOT black tie. My date will be wearing a full length black gown.

I bought a shawl lapel black velvet jacket with traditional black pants. Being my first venture down the alternate fabric path, need some advice on how to finish this.

Was planning on a black velvet bow tie on a standard spread collar white shirt. Was planning on just a traditional white shirt (non tuxedo, white buttons). Correct me if I’m wrong, I feel like a tuxedo shirt with studs and French cuffs would be too formal?

Secondly, what to do for shoes? Originally thought patent leather, but also feel this to be too formal for a non black tie wedding? Found a pair of cap toe derby’s with patent leather cap and part of the quarter, but now second guessing those (the patent leather dresses up the derby’s, but again feel PL might be too much). Should I stick with calfskin? Do they have to be Oxfords?

Thanks for any tips

 

[Matt S]

Welcome! What you're planning on wearing is still black tie, just not the most formal version of black tie. A black velvet shawl collar dinner jacket and a black bow tie makes your outfit black tie. A traditional white poplin shirt can still be worn for black tie (provided it has french cuffs, and in your case it should). You can wear any elegant black shoes (oxfords, derbys, monks, slip-ons; but not bluchers or moccasin-style loafers) for this situation. But if this wedding is not black tie, I would recommend wearing a navy or charcoal suit with a white shirt and a plain tie.

 

[Djwood8]

Thank you Matt, this helps immensely.

Would I be better off with a neck tie, rather than bow?

If I do still go with this attire (still leaning that way.. evening wedding), as for the shoes, what is your take on the PL? Too formal/much?

 

[Matt S]

Thank you Matt, this helps immensely.

Would I be better off with a neck tie, rather than bow?

If I do still go with this attire (still leaning that way.. evening wedding), as for the shoes, what is your take on the PL? Too formal/much?

I would avoid wearing a dinner jacket with a neck tie. It needs a bow tie.

The partial patent leather shoes sounds like something I commonly see at rental shops, so I would avoid those. You could wear some full patent leather shoes to go with the rest of the look, but I probably wouldn't. Elegant shoes in black calf would probably be best to dial things back a little.

 

[smmrfld]

Wear a suit to avoid being “that guy”.

 

[SG_67]

If it’s not black tie, then a black velvet jacket would be somewhat of a costume. It’s a wedding; tone it down. A dark suit should suffice.

 

[Djwood8]

Thanks for everyone’s advice. Reconsidering

 

[Flanderian]

I would avoid wearing a dinner jacket with a neck tie. It needs a bow tie.

The partial patent leather shoes sounds like something I commonly see at rental shops, so I would avoid those. You could wear some full patent leather shoes to go with the rest of the look, but I probably wouldn't. Elegant shoes in black calf would probably be best to dial things back a little.

Wear a suit to avoid being "that guy".

If it's not black tie, then a black velvet jacket would be somewhat of a costume. It's a wedding; tone it down. A dark suit should suffice.

+1.

 

[paxonus]

Black velvet Albert slippers? Or would that be too much velvet?

 

[SG_67]

Black velvet Albert slippers? Or would that be too much velvet?

For some reason this Benny Hill skit popped into my head. Though velvet is less noisy.

 

[Charles Dana]

Im going to a winter wedding....

I bought a shawl lapel black velvet jacket.... Being my first venture down the alternate fabric path....

Thanks for any tips

A wedding is no place for experimenting with an "alternate fabric." If you want to play around with an "alternate fabric," wait for a birthday or anniversary party.

Don't push any envelopes at a wedding. Wear a dark suit. White shirt. Sober necktie.

 

[ItalianStyle]

Why so afraid of being 'too formal'?
Your date is wearing a full length black gown - that sounds pretty formal to me...?
Was there a dress code stated on the invitation?
I understand the reluctance of being too formal if you and your date are the only ones, but at least your outfit should match your date's in formality...

 

[Djwood8]

A wedding is no place for experimenting with an "alternate fabric." If you want to play around with an "alternate fabric," wait for a birthday or anniversary party.

Don't push any envelopes at a wedding. Wear a dark suit. White shirt. Sober necktie.

I appreciate the feedback.

Am I wrong with this description? Wondering why you wanted to point out my wordage twice

 

[SG_67]

Why so afraid of being 'too formal'?
Your date is wearing a full length black gown - that sounds pretty formal to me...?
Was there a dress code stated on the invitation?
I understand the reluctance of being too formal if you and your date are the only ones, but at least your outfit should match your date's in formality...

The OP specifically states "not black tie" which in the common parlance means not formal or no tuxedo required.

He and his date can be just as well matched by his wearing a dark suit. If he and his date were just going out together, perhaps it would be a different story. They are guests at a wedding and I would assume that the opening lines of the post are an allusion to some stated dress code or preference on the part of the bride and groom.

 

[Djwood8]

Why so afraid of being 'too formal'?
Your date is wearing a full length black gown - that sounds pretty formal to me...?
Was there a dress code stated on the invitation?
I understand the reluctance of being too formal if you and your date are the only ones, but at least your outfit should match your date's in formality...

No dress code mentioned on the invite.

Yes, she is wearing a gown as are her friends she knows are going, thats what led me to a more formal rig.

 

[Djwood8]

The OP specifically states "not black tie" which in the common parlance means not formal or no tuxedo required.

He and his date can be just as well matched by his wearing a dark suit. If he and his date were just going out together, perhaps it would be a different story. They are guests at a wedding and I would assume that the opening lines of the post are an allusion to some stated dress code or preference on the part of the bride and groom.

Perhaps I was misleading with my OP. The invite did not address code, which in my prior understanding also means "not formal". FWIW, the fact of many of the wife's friends wearing full gowns led me down the dressier route

 

[SG_67]

No dress code mentioned on the invite.

Yes, she is wearing a gown as are her friends she knows are going, thats what led me to a more formal rig.

Just curious; if there's no dress code mentioned on the invite, what prompted you to specifically state that it was not black tie?

 

[Djwood8]

Just curious; if there's no dress code mentioned on the invite, what prompted you to specifically state that it was not black tie?

Right, a bit misleading. Since "black tie" was not specifically on the invite, I assumed the bride/groom desired not black tie

 

[SG_67]

Perhaps I was misleading with my OP. The invite did not address code, which in my prior understanding also means "not formal". FWIW, the fact of many of the wife's friends wearing full gowns led me down the dressier route

Whatever the specifics of the invite, I can only give you advice based on how I see the world. In my opinion, a black, velvet jacket would be too much. Especially as you may be the only one there dressed like that.

Even if the invite specifically stated "black tie" or "formal", I would opt for a more classic jacket and leave the black velvet for your companies Christmas party.

 

[Djwood8]

Whatever the specifics of the invite, I can only give you advice based on how I see the world. In my opinion, a black, velvet jacket would be too much. Especially as you may be the only one there dressed like that.

Even if the invite specifically stated "black tie" or "formal", I would opt for a more classic jacket and leave the black velvet for your companies Christmas party.

Duly noted. I appreciate your advice. As I said above, I am reconsidering the velvet