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This depends on just what kind of behavior you mean. If it is gentlemanliness of high moral character, I would refer you to scripture and your ecclesiastical leader. Doing the right things for the right reasons is not a veneer that can be worn.

If you are referring to social etiquette, such as never presenting a lady to a gentleman (except in rare circumstances) or saying "How do you do?" instead of "Pleased to meet you" when introduced, then there are hundreds of sources. Two common ones are Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt. Emily Post's 1922 edition can be found online here.

Incidentally, Emily Post alludes several times to the shallowness of manners without real moral character. The actions (manners) generally give form to purity of heart.

pbc
 

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You may want to check out the Gentleman books by John Bridges. Brooks Brothers carries these books or you can click on the Amazon link below to see them. There are many books in the collection referring to different topics and needs. I have enjoyed them.

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_shoe?url=search-alias=shoes&field-keywords=how+to+be+a+gentleman
The Brooks Brothers version come in a very nice blue leatherette binding with gold letters, so they look much more classy than the dust-jacketed version sold elsewhere.

I can't say I agree with everything in them, though. Sometimes they seem a bit too permissive.
 

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As it happens, I'm at work on a research paper on the elements of gentlemanliness across philosophies. My thesis identifies " [FONT=&quot]moderation, grace under pressure, respect for that which deserves it, and a sincere desire to live well" as some of the key principles.

For time-tested sources, I can recommend the Analects of Confucius. The sayings of the Master are largely concerned with what makes a kunzi, or "gentleman". Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics are also in high regard.

That said, if you want something more modern, I can second the recommendation of Bridges' books. How to be a Gentleman is an excellent primer. I may disagree with certain individual rules, but the good far exceeds the bad. On the classic etiquette front, Peter Post's Essential Manners for Men is a bit detail-oriented, but still worth flipping through.
[/FONT] I would start with Bridges and move on from there.
 

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stand on one leg and repeat after me "a gentleman sticks to his code of ethics, regardless of how a specific event will effect him personally, and treats all people, whether they have something that he wants or can help him or hurt him in accordence to his code of morals and ethics"

that pretty much sums it up.
 

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Back to origins.

Is would seem "Gentleman" derives from the French "Gentilhomme" or one from a noble origin.

Gentility and Manliness are necessary to qualify for the denomination of Gentleman. A gentleman should be graced with an understanding of the finer qualities of human character and social endeavours such as Manners, Kindness, The Arts, Cuisine, Academics and Clothing. He must also be a "Man". He does not turn his head when a lady, child or an elderly person is affronted. He defends what he feels is just...in other words he is honorable.

noble
 

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As it happens, I'm at work on a research paper on the elements of gentlemanliness across philosophies. My thesis identifies " [FONT=&quot]moderation, grace under pressure, respect for that which deserves it, and a sincere desire to live well" as some of the key principles.
[/FONT]
When can we order copies? I'm happy to be a proof reader.
 

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Although I am not Jewish, I find this story regarding the famous Rabbi Hillel to offer a great lesson:

A proselyte came to both Rabbi Hillel and Rabbi Shammai, asking each to teach him the Torah while he stood on one leg. Shammai drove him away saying that he asked the impossible. However, Hillel told him, "What is hateful to you, do not do to others. That is the whole of Torah; the rest is commentary on it. Now go and learn."

To me this speaks not only about religion, but also about our entire personal code of conduct...to be a gentleman is to apply the Golden Rule.
 

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The following is considered a classic:

Robert E. Lee's Definition of a Gentleman

The forbearing use of power does not only form a touchstone, but the manner in which an individual enjoys certain advantages over others is a test of a true gentleman.

The power which the strong have over the weak, the employer over the employed, the educated over the unlettered, the experienced over the confiding, even the clever over the silly--the forbearing or inoffensive use of all this power or authority, or a total abstinence from it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in a plain light.

The gentleman does not needlessly and unnecessarily remind an offender of a wrong he may have committed against him. He cannot only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past. A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.

 

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This depends on just what kind of behavior you mean. If it is gentlemanliness of high moral character, I would refer you to scripture and your ecclesiastical leader. Doing the right things for the right reasons is not a veneer that can be worn.

If you are referring to social etiquette, such as never presenting a lady to a gentleman (except in rare circumstances) or saying "How do you do?" instead of "Pleased to meet you" when introduced, then there are hundreds of sources. Two common ones are Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt. Emily Post's 1922 edition can be found online here.

Incidentally, Emily Post alludes several times to the shallowness of manners without real moral character. The actions (manners) generally give form to purity of heart.

pbc
I took your advice about reading Ecclesiastics, and I thank you for that. I too often just read the New Testament and I'm really enjoying Ecclesiastics.
 

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You know I agree with the people who say that 'Gentle manliness is high moral character'.

I have met with people from so many different religions, ethnicities and regions and have found ONLY ONE RULE:
the real gentleness is having high moral values.

So follow the moral codes of your religion (whatever it be) and be yourself. Treat others like you want to be treated and I assure you, you will be considered most gentle person. Respect everyone and don't be judgmental.


All other cosmetics are fake......
 

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globetrotter is right

Globetrotter, your definition of 'gentleman' is absolutely and concisely correct. Now whether gentlemanliness is of any value or relevance at a time when Western Civilization is being destroyed by the governments which were elected to protect it......well, that is debatable.

But your definition clearly describes what is most essential in being a gentleman. I could never afford to be one.
 
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