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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So my sister is getting married in May. The wedding is at a "beach foundation" in Annapolis. Think of the venue as part cutting edge environmental research think tank, part lobby (as in Washington DC, not the foier), and part classy beach-side event hall. I'd say the overall tone of the event will be relaxed but in a classy manner with white table catering, top-shelf bar, jazz ensemble, and a quasi intimate crowd of about 120.

The groom and the groomsmen will all wear identical navy suits. They will all wear white spread collar shirts and regimental style repp ties - all of the groomsmen will wear navy and turquoise ties; the groom will wear a navy and yellow tie.

My brother and I are to be the ushers. The current plan (all of this has so far been dictated by my sister BTW) is for us to wear blazers and British tan gabs. We will most likely wear shirts that match the groomsmen and my sister has picked out #1 stripe repp ties in colors that echo the groom - navy with yellow and white stripes.

While I certainly don't think the attire is a mess, I'm hung-up on the fact that as ushers, my brother and I won't wear suits as all of the "official" male wedding party members will. I can understand that we have different roles than they do, but I would think this should call for different color suits (khaki poplin, mid-grey maybe) - NOT odd jackets and trousers. I told my sister that if she is going to spit in the face of proper convention by making us wear clothes that don't match the other wedding participants, we might as well go all the way and wear bow-ties. I think this would ensure that our odd jacket ensembles come across as a completely intentional choice rather than a coincidence.

Any thoughts - I always thought that the general rule was for either everyone to wear a suit, or everyone to wear odd jackets. Not to mix.
 

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Trust me on this - do exactly as she says, and act like you couldn't be happier. Women are often completely insane when it comes to wedding plans, and if you're not the groom, then it really shouldn't matter all that much. Besides, the attire she selected sounds perfectly fine for a beach wedding.
 

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Weddings are one of those times when women frequently demonstrate exactly why they have no business telling men how to dress. ;)

Unfortunately, you're pretty much at the bride's mercy. Be glad she isn't asking you to wear a pink tux with a ruffled shirt.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Trust me on this - do exactly as she says, and act like you couldn't be happier. Women are often completely insane when it comes to wedding plans, and if you're not the groom, then it really shouldn't matter all that much. Besides, the attire she selected sounds perfectly fine for a beach wedding.
abc,

I agree with you for the most part. I am completely sympathetic to the fact that it is her day and her day alone. I just want to vent about my sartorial frustrations and figure out if my hesitations have any merrit. I swear I saw Glen Obrien (GQ's Style Guy - yes, he actually offers good non-GQ-esque advice quite often) once raise the same concern that I raise.
 

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I'm going to go along with the general consensus and just say to smile and nod. The important thing is they're saying "I do."
Plus, you can get drunk for free at the reception afterwards, so who cares what you're wearing? ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Plus, you can get drunk for free at the reception afterwards, so who cares what you're wearing? ;)
Oh don't you worry Topsider. That's pretty much the story of my life!

Anyhow, the whole beach aspect of things is leading me to believe that everything will be OK.
 

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I would agree that this seems pretty terrible not to say daft. However the custom on these occasions is for the bride to rule the roost - and for some present for evermore shalt be the custom.
"Pretty terrible"? "Daft"? To wear a blazer to a summer beach wedding when you're an usher.

Be thankful she's not putting you in black trousers and a solid color tie with same color solid shirt.

My goodness.

JB
 

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Is this going to be at the Chesapeake Bay Foundation?

They used to be located downtown when I lived there, but it looks like they have a new place on the water now.

They're a great organization.
 

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Isn't it customary for the whole groom's party to serve as ushers? That's how it's been at any wedding I've been at. Then again my family is not very tradly. Some of us are known to practice Catholicism and other strange, pagan religions. :devil:
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Is this going to be at the Chesapeake Bay Foundation?

They used to be located downtown when I lived there, but it looks like they have a new place on the water now.

They're a great organization.
Another Annapolitan! We should compare notes; I've lived there basically all of my life and hope to retire there - God's country.

Yes, it is the Chesapeake Bay Foundation. My future brother in law is very much concerned and interested in all matters green. The new facility is very impressive and technologically robust. I think it will make a great setting for Sissy's wedding.
 

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Is this going to be at the Chesapeake Bay Foundation?

They used to be located downtown when I lived there, but it looks like they have a new place on the water now.

They're a great organization.
Is there not just a bit of irony in the fact that an organization that campaigns against development of waterfront property has just occupied a big chunk of it?

Back on topic, wear the jacket and trousers with a big smile. After the affair, if you're still dirigible, shuck off the tie and go to the Boatyard for Dark 'n Stormies.
 

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Weddings are one of those times when women frequently demonstrate exactly why they have no business telling men how to dress. ;)

Unfortunately, you're pretty much at the bride's mercy. Be glad she isn't asking you to wear a pink tux with a ruffled shirt.
...Or an all-polyester black number with matching four-in-hand tie like my daughter put me in a couple of summers ago...little brother (groomsman) got stuck with the same concept, with the black poly waistcoat and tie getting exchanged for deep red--to match the bridesmaids.

It was the hottest day of the season.:(

hbs
 
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