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Ok, it should seem pretty obvious about what to wear to a memorial service. But here is why I am asking. Wife'd grandmother, in her mid 90's passed about 8-9 months ago. She had outlived all family and friends, and was in FL, while most of family were scattered elsewhere. So at the time, really no service of any kind. Now, family has coordinated a memorial service on Thanksgiving day, in affluent small town in CT (memorial is at a church). So normally I think of funeral, and would wear my most somber dark tones (which I dont really have). But I am wondering if somehow it is different since it is a stand-alone memorial service, so many months later. Its really a celebration of her life than a sad rememberance, so I think. I'm not saying I would wear anything loud or inappropriate. I have plenty of suits and sportcoats, but its my ties. About the most conservative ties I have are repp stripes. I seem to have more teal blues, yellows, golds, bold stripes, etc. What would be appropriate for this type of gathering, on Thanksgiving day? Thanks much.

Tom
 

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I really wouldn't worry about it one way or the other. Just wear something conservative and you will be fine.

Even for folks who take the time to wear a suit and tie to a funeral or memorial service, some of the old rules seem to have gone by the wayside. I was watching the funeral for Gerald Ford on television and couldn't help but notice the red tie that Bill Frist was wearing. And then I noticed that it really didn't seem out of place with what many of the others were wearing.

This past summer I went to the funeral of my former mother-in-law. Her oldest son, my former brother-in-law, a man who would fit in quite nicely in this forum with his sartorial affinity, was wearing a blue window pane suit, shirt with French collar and cuffs with gold cuff links, and a red tie. I don't think that anyone gave any thought to his attire, one way or the other. Her other son was wearing a sport coat with an open collared shirt and I don't think anyone gave a second thought to his attire either.

Cruiser
 

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One option on the tie front is to wear a black tie but with small white polka dots. I seem to remember the Duke of Edinburgh wearing this to Hirohitos funeral as I believe he was trying to avoid the full "mourning look" though this probably has more to do with disdain for what the Emperor got up to in the war rather than anything else. I believe some people wear dark purple for the same purpose.
 
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