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Aware of the impending holiday of Thanksgiving that has spelled doom for so many of their brethren, flocks of homicidal terrorists, willing to die, but not be roasted, have descended upon one quite New Jersey community.
Turkesh Terrorists Launch Preemptive Attack!
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As a gentleman who has hunted all manner of game since I turned 12 years old and treasures almost 60 years of the hunting experience and as one who is all about permanently eliminating terrorists, permit me to assure you that there is an easy and humane solution to the problem you so eloquently showcase. Local authorities need to declare an open season on those feathered marauders. I have seen literally thousands of wild turkeys in my life and am somewhat humiliated to have to admit never having been able to take one during hunting season. Hunting season opens and those magnificent winged bastards disappear....it's like a bye gawd dark miracle. Yea that's what it is! LOL. 
Being a fellow Pennsyltuckian, and growing up not far from your home turf, I can attest the your very factual statement, as I too, have been similarly skunked. The funniest was years ago when spring gobbler season was instituted in PA, and I "called" in another hunter, with neither of us aware of the other not having feathers.As a gentleman who has hunted all manner of game since I turned 12 years old and treasures almost 60 years of the hunting experience and as one who is all about permanently eliminating terrorists, permit me to assure you that there is an easy and humane solution to the problem you so eloquently showcase. Local authorities need to declare an open season on those feathered marauders. I have seen literally thousands of wild turkeys in my life and am somewhat humiliated to have to admit never having been able to take one during hunting season. Hunting season opens and those magnificent winged bastards disappear....it's like a bye gawd dark miracle. Yea that's what it is! LOL.
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At least you both held your fire! Turkeys are becoming a nuisance in Oregon, too. Something must be done!
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As a gentleman who has hunted all manner of game since I turned 12 years old and treasures almost 60 years of the hunting experience and as one who is all about permanently eliminating terrorists, permit me to assure you that there is an easy and humane solution to the problem you so eloquently showcase. Local authorities need to declare an open season on those feathered marauders. I have seen literally thousands of wild turkeys in my life and am somewhat humiliated to have to admit never having been able to take one during hunting season. Hunting season opens and those magnificent winged bastards disappear....it's like a bye gawd dark miracle. Yea that's what it is! LOL.
While not a hunter, I have (I think) gotten one. Said foul fowl were once more numerous in my environs pre-coyote. And large packs (No, I won't call them flocks!) of turkeys including many testosterone addled males could be seen. One dusk a huge tom launched itself at a startling velocity from the adjoining hillside of the road on which I was travelling directly at my driver side window. Not having time to stop or swerve I could only speed up, and instead of crashing into my window, he struck the B-pillar, knocking off the trim, and rocking the car!
I looked in my rear view mirror expecting to see feathers and turkey guts all over the road, but he had vanished! Could he possibly have survived such a collision!? Upon stopping and inspecting my auto, the only discernible result of the collision was the missing bit of trim, and a splat (Excuse the indelicacy.) of turkey snot.
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