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I went to lunch with three guys from work today. Two of the three tucked their ties between their buttons and into their shirts. Perhaps, this is perfectly acceptable and I have somehow missed this in the etiquette books, but to me it looks as if one doesn't have the agility required to keep from dipping one's neckwear in one's vichyssoise. Is this practice acceptable or am I correct in thinking it shouldn't be the practice of grown men?

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If John Bull turns round to look after you, you are
not well dressed; but either too stiff, too tight, or too fashionable.

-- George Bryan `Beau' Brummell
 

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It is acceptable. I've picked it up from my father, who is just about as correct as you can get. I think it stems from the military. Either way, if you're eating tomato basil soup while wearing a Kiton 7 fold and a J. C. Penney shirt, go for it, for your tie's sake.
 

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Uhhh...Isn't this prevented by tie tacks and tie bars...?

..tucking one's tie in only shows you do not possess either the culinary skills to eat neatly...or the possession of some decorative appliance to fasten one's tie to the shirt.

Regardless of what the military might deem appropriate (or various ancestors)...or what you might do in the privacy of your own home... tucking in one's tie is way too utilitarian a way to prevent slop from finding it's way there. For the sartorial minded, there are preferable ways of accomplishing this.
 

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I have ...

actually done this for a long time.

I do not think there is anything wrong with this method. Over the shoulder is good if you stuff it under the jacket - otherwise it will fall down. And I do not clean my ties - it's not really recommended and there are few good cleaners in Moscow. It's easier to keep them clean.

And I know of too many ties spoilt that way.

On the other hand you often get food on the top part of the tie - which you cannot save by a clip or tucking it in. So, of course, you have to eat clean.

Andrey
 

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I do not understand this phenomena at all. I eat food every day while wearing a tie, and I have never before stained my tie. My tie is always secure under my jacket. To the extent that my tie would flop out of my jacket, my neck would need to be at a 45 degree angle to my back, and that is neither ergnomic nor good manners. Sit up straight in your chair, have the chair close enough to the table that your belly is touching the edge of the table, bring the food more or less to your mouth when you eat, and you will be O.K. Moreover, if you are eating soup, etc. your left hand should be holding a napkin in your lap; this hand can also, if absolutely necessary, secure your tie, should it have a mind of its own to leap out of your jacket and into your soup.
 

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My dad taught me the tie in the shirt method which I said he learned at Brown in the 40's. So I have done that since I was a boy. It is better than wearing a bib in my view, and a very old custom

It is VERY risky to do the tie over the shoulder. I have done that with almost near disasters of tie flying over and almost into the chowder. Some guys are more adept at this than I apparently.
 

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It isn't that the tie leaps at the food. For me it is usually dripping of oil and vinegar or some such thing. Drives me crazy. So I envy those guys who don't drool on themselves.
Every tie is an old tie after the first meal. The harder I try to eat neatly, the more likely I will bathe in salsa, marinara, BBQ sauce, cocktail sauce, grits and gravy, au jus, drawn butter, hollandaise, red eye gravy, bearnaise... well, you get the idea.

So I either remember to tuck, or send the tie to Tiecrafters. One or the other.
 

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The military has nothing to do with this bad habit. However, there was a uniform ensemble that required the tie to be tucked into the shirt, whether one was eating or not.

Ties should not be tucked in or thrown over the shoulder while eating for the sake of not getting the tie dirty. This shows a lack of respect to the person you are dining with. This is also ass-backwards, as the origin of the tie was that it would save the shirt from getting dirty.

Cheers,

M8
 

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There was a time when most architects practiced the tie over the shoulder routine. I have vivid recollections of Philip Johnson, Paul Rudolph and Hugh Hardy with tie over the shoulder. After all, we actually drew on a drafting board ... and had need to keep our tie off the less than clean (graphite residue, eraser dust, etc.) surface.

As for whether or not this practice continues ... well … I still do it out of habit. I'm right handed ... so my tie goes over my left shoulder. Of course, so few architects wear ties these days ... I may be the only one keeping this "architectural tradition" alive.

And here in Berkeley, I'm sometimes asked if my tie's position represents a protest position.
 

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Yes but the tie is no longer a bib for jowlish whiskery Dickensian slobs to clean their greasy mutton smeared jowls with. It has evolved into a decorative icon of dressing professionally...part of the uniform so to speak. I have dined in the best places with the top of my profession in this country, and there is no disrespect to tucking in ones tie neatly into the shirt while dining.
 
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