[tnj]

No one would use slang on an invitation, so they cannot say "black tie" or "tux" on an invitation. There are rules on how invitations are written so that there is no confussion about things. Nobody would go to the trouble of printing invitations without knowing what they are saying. And, even if they did not know, the engraver would clue them into how to communicate the dress code on an invitation.

Well, yes, but somebody who knew the "rules" would also not put a dress code on an invitation. So, in writing "semi formal" on the invite, they've tipped their hand to what they know or how they feel about the "rules".

 

[ss1088]

From the web site about.com on the matter of how to word wedding invitations:

Optional details include telling your guests what to wear. Strictest etiquette tells you not to include information about attire on your invitation, but I think this is an outdated opinion. Guests appreciate clues about how to dress, and are not as instinctively knowledgeable as they used to be. To avoid someone showing up in blue jeans, include a line such as:

Black Tie

Other options: Semi-formal, cocktail attire, festive attire, creative black tie, white tie, black tie optional, dressy casual, informal.

The same web site provides the following definition of "semi-formal":

Semi-Formal or After Five means that tuxes are not required, nor are long dresses. An evening wedding (after 6 PM) would still dictate dark suits for him, and a cocktail dress for her. Daytime semi-formal events mean a suit for him and an appropriate short dress or dressy suit for her.

And while I am sure you will say that you do not consider this to be your definitive guide in such matters, that isn't the point I'm making. I'm saying that one cannot assume that everyone is reading from the same book. All I know is that I've been to more than a few "semi-formal" weddings where a suit was what was being requested.

Heck, in many of these "semi-formal" weddings the groom was wearing a suit and I don't think I would want to show up at someone's wedding in a tuxedo with the wedding party in suits. Like I suggested previously, the issue isn't about who is technically right or wrong.

Cruiser

The dress code was not indicated on the invitation itself but in an area on their wedding website. I am going to assume they don't mean black tie because I am sure not everyone will bother to go the the site and see this.

 

[Miket61]

I think that Letitia Baldrige and the late Lee Annenberg would disagree about whether "black tie" and "white tie" are slang, based on this example of the work of their successor:



I think it's safe that many of the regulars on this forum, including myself, know what "Semi-Formal" means when it's on an invitation.

I've certainly seen my share of weddings with all the male guests in tuxedos. But I would judge the accuracy of the term based on how likely it is that the host understands it.

Can the parents of either the bride or groom be contacted? If they were expected to wear tuxedos they certainly would know by now.

 

[ss1088]

Well, I finally got a repose from the bride to be.

"I don't know about black tie, but most people will be wearing suits or uniforms. We decided against tuxs since most of the groomsmen were Air Force people."

That settles that.

 

[Orsini]

Well, I finally got a repose from the bride to be.

"I don't know about black tie, but most people will be wearing suits or uniforms. We decided against tuxs since most of the groomsmen were Air Force people."

That settles that.

OK. Navy solid, wedding tie, shiny black captoes, ps...

 

[pbc]

Well, I finally got a repose from the bride to be.

"I don't know about black tie, but most people will be wearing suits or uniforms. We decided against tuxs since most of the groomsmen were Air Force people."

That settles that.

This is sad considering that a fair number of uniforms almost begs for civilians to be in at least black tie. What a handsome setting that would make.

pbc

 

[Orsini]

This is sad considering that a fair number of uniforms almost begs for civilians to be in at least black tie. What a handsome setting that would make.

pbc

That might be nice but the bride is the boss...

 

[Jovan]

Now that you know what she meant, EDUCATE her about what semi-formal actually means! :icon_smile_big:

Good luck.

 

[Miket61]

Well, I finally got a repose from the bride to be.

"I don't know about black tie, but most people will be wearing suits or uniforms. We decided against tuxs since most of the groomsmen were Air Force people."

That settles that.

If the bride told you to wear a suit (unless you can legitimately wear a uniform), then wear a suit.

Personally, her response seems as frustrating as the confusion over the original invitation.

If she's been so hard to get a hold of, how does she know what "most people" were wearing? And if most but not all of the groomsmen are Air Force people, does this mean that the Air Force people will be wearing uniforms and the non-Air Force people will be wearing suits?

Seriously, if she's indicating that the groomsmen won't be wearing black tie, then the guests shouldn't either.

 

[Phileas Fogg]

You should never dress in a more formal way than the groom. If he is not going to wear a Morning coat than no Morning coat for other people, if he is not going to wear a dinner jacket than no dinner jacket for other people, he dictates the dress code.
Should he be wearing a military uniform things could be again somewhat tricky as you should ask which one and pick the appropriate attire.

Still as you asked the bride-to-be and told you no "dinner jacket" I would go for a dark suit (possibly grey) and white shirt with black shoes and a somber tie.
Yours,

Phileas Fogg