Men's Clothing Forums banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
124 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I continued to receive emails from family and friends that have the name of a long deceased member in the from name. I find these well uncomfortable. I open my email and it says for example email from "Jack and Jill" - Jack has been gone for over 5 years and another 3 years...the remaining spouse is using the email account. In each case the email owner has another family member that is more then able to alter the account. I have a couple of others like this.

Is there a way to mention to the survivor that this makes me uncomfortable? In the case of the widow of 5 years she is attempting to date...I can only imagine how her potential dates feel getting an email from the her with the deceased husband's name included.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
996 Posts
creepy

The polite way would be to slightly modify your own alias (I think that's what it is called) by adding Mister or an initial or something. Mention the update and ask if they like it better than the previous one.
Or skip the middleman and go to the capable family member that can change it. Someone could change mine and I'd never notice.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,865 Posts
I wouldn't. It's possible she's unaware that his name is still on the account, but it seems at least as likely that it gives her some comfort.
I had considered this. I actually have two people on my cell phone speed dial who have died - my grandmother (April 2005) and a friend (April 2008). It somehow seems wrong for me to delete their numbers, even though I know I'll never be able to call them.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
16,023 Posts
I have not been able to delete my late friend from my phone either. There's not a day I don't think of her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,306 Posts
Perhaps consider the why behind the action

Maybe they are dealing with their grief the best way they know how. I have close friends and family who have lost spouses, children or parents. Sometimes I do not understand why they are doing the things they do, and sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable with how they express their grief. I do know that I haven't experienced what they have gone through, and I do not know how I would react, so I just try to humor, support, and comfort them as best I can in the hope that they would do the same for me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,331 Posts
My grandfather, a Colonel of the army had numerous portraits and pictures of his army life around his house. As he fell ill in his final weeks, he started to give away various pictures to those who would remember him. Because he also owned a publishing house, he had numerous paintings to replace those of himself mostly of book covers which he had published (early in his career, before computer design, a book cover actually had to be concieved in painted form). To this day, my grandmother still has personal pictures of her late husband, mostly of his days in WWII as an Able Seaman and there is a picture of his ship on display, but there are no massive memorials to a man who I shall not see for at least another fifty years.

Before he died, he arranged for the answering machine message to be changed. My grandmother has recently discovered computers, and has her own, and her own email. He claimed to me his computers were only for playing chess, but I suspect he was writing military documents in his spare time.

Something that really helped my grandmother was that they got rid of their Lincoln and bought a top-of-the-line Kia a few months before he got ill. The Kia was "their" car (and therefore partially hers) rather than the older Lincoln that was most definitely the Colonel's car. It was quite the beast in its day (car phone, automatic everything), but it was a reward he bought after selling his business.

Just some reminiscence. When visiting my grandmother, I occasionally answer the phone and it's always, "Irene X's residence", which demonstrates that her home is, well, her home.

Thomas
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top