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Park Avenues With A "Tux"

9412 Views 68 Replies 33 Participants Last post by  Taliesin
Hello all,

So in a few months I'm going to be a groomsman in my friend's wedding. He has chosen a black "tux" with a black 2B notch-lapel jacket, black vest, and black necktie - not exactly my cup of tea, but fortunately it's not my wedding either.

I'm not going to bother trying to change his mind on what he picked out, but I would prefer to avoid wearing the square-toed patent leather shoes he selected as well (just can't stand the square-toed look). I recently bought a pair of Park Avenues in black - I'd much prefer to wear those, but would they be appropriate for such an outfit? (would they be formal enough?)

Thank you for you response!
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If they're making you wear that clown outfit, I'm sure no one would notice inappropriate shoes either. I'm willing to bet this is a daytime wedding as well?
I'm really surprised, or maybe I'm not, at the number of suggestions that are being offered to avoid complying with the wishes of the bride and groom. All of them, beyond merely asking for permission and accepting the answer given, involve manipulating the truth so it doesn't look like what it is, a lie.

Would you guys be as forgiving if the situation was reversed and someone did this to you because they thought it was in some way better than what you wanted? What if your Best Man substituted those ugly square toed shoes for the "proper" shoes that you asked him to wear and didn't tell you he was going to do it? Or made up some story to cover for his deception? It's the same thing that some are suggesting.

If you don't want to be a part of it, then don't. But if you do and tell your friend that you will, be a friend he can trust and go along with his requests even if it isn't what you would do if it was your wedding. As important as some think clothing choices are, there are some things in life that are more important; like friendship, relationships, honesty, trust.

Just a thought.

I wouldn't make my friends look like clowns. I would want them to be properly attired. Plus, far too much focus is placed on these matters at weddings. Afterall, isn't a wedding about celebrating a union and not which shoes the groomen will be wearing?
Completely agree. You are being very selfish and self centered if you deviate from the rest of the wedding party. Wear what the bride picks out or dont participate in the wedding party.
Weddings are silly and a waste of money.
Yeah, I don't see how showing up to a wedding in a bonafide, grown-up ensemble (i.e., a proper tuxedo) is being disrespectful or "hi-jacking" anything. A wedding is a festivity that is meant to be enjoyed by all. Wear what you will enjoy yourself in. The focus will not be on who is wearing what, anyway, but on the act that is occurring. I'm sure if your friend knew you have a tuxedo, he would encourage you to wear it to the wedding. Only a true fool will be caught standing in wrinkled, rented polyester during a wedding, all while a proper tuxedo (owned by him) hangs in his closet.
I whole-heartedly agree, Sir!
I'm guessing you either aren't married or were still drunk from the party the night before when you got married.

Wear what the girl picked out and do it with grace. Save your friend any extra grief and absorb all you can on his behalf. He'll have his hands full on wedding day without carrying your square-toed-shoe-phobia around on his shoulders.

It has nothing to do with you or what you want or consider correct. It's HER wedding. And it's mostly about pictures.

The last thing you want is for him to hear about it for the next 30 years ... unless you don't like the guy; in which case don't go.
Why does everyone say it's "her" wedding. Isn't it both their wedding? What about rules of equality where these decisions should be shared. Again, wedding are silly. If someone remembers, ten years from now, that the OP was wearing the wrong shoes, then SHE has the problem, not the OP!
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