[clfrucel]

Hello all,

So in a few months I'm going to be a groomsman in my friend's wedding. He has chosen a black "tux" with a black 2B notch-lapel jacket, black vest, and black necktie - not exactly my cup of tea, but fortunately it's not my wedding either.

I'm not going to bother trying to change his mind on what he picked out, but I would prefer to avoid wearing the square-toed patent leather shoes he selected as well (just can't stand the square-toed look). I recently bought a pair of Park Avenues in black - I'd much prefer to wear those, but would they be appropriate for such an outfit? (would they be formal enough?)

Thank you for you response!

 

[Taliesin]

Cruiser?

 

[Bird's One View]

Ask your friend if he minds. He (and/or his bride) may want everyone in identical shoes. If he approves, wear your PAs. They will be much more comfortable for dancing than the plastic rental shoes.

BTW this is about making the bride and groom comfortable, not about proper dress. The outfit is a hopeless mashup of disparate elements with wrong details.

 

[smujd]

While I am not a fan of the PAs with a dinner jacket, you can get away with it and, in this case, should do so.

 

[jackmccullough]

Put a good shine on them and nobody will notice. I wouldn't even ask.

 

[TMMKC]

You'll find a lot of men in the U.S. wear Park Avenues with dinner jackets. I know many on the fora passionately disagree with this...while techincally not the "correct" shoe, I don't see anything wrong with wearing a pair of shined Park Avenues with a dinner jacket.

That told...I know you don't like the "tux" or the shoes cry, but you may have to acquiesce to the bride and groom. It's thier show.

 

[flatline]

Put a good shine on them and nobody will notice. I wouldn't even ask.

This will be key. You will really need to get an Army-level shine on those bad boys if you hope to pass muster at all

 

[FlatSix]

PAs with a "tux" (hate to call it a "dinner jacket" in this case) are fine.

With that said, you should ask your friend beforehand. Not that he'll notice, but his bride might.

You can simply say, "Hey, I have another pair of formal shoes. Do you mind if I wear 'em? I am not comfortable in the rentals." If he chooses to understand that as "your feet hurt in the rentals", that is fine.

 

[TMMKC]

Put a good shine on them and nobody will notice. I wouldn't even ask.

^Even better advice. Most people won't notice, and fewer still will care.

 

[Cruiser]

I think there are two questions here. First, are the PAs appropriate with a tuxedo? I think so. I don't own patent leather shoes. My shoe of choice with a tuxedo is a simple black captoe like the PA.

The second question is should you wear your PAs at the wedding? I think that is a question for the bride and groom to answer, and I think you should abide by their wishes. Like you said, it's not your wedding and you don't have to be a part of it; but if you do I think you should go along with whatever they desire. Just ask them if it's OK with them and don't spring this on them at the last minute.

Cruiser

 

[Jordan]

^Even better advice. Most people won't notice, and fewer still will care.

+1. His bride might notice, but it's not that big a deal even if she does. And you could always tell a white lie that the store forgot to include them in your bag or that they didn't fit or something like that.

 

[Cary Grant]

I think that is a question for the bride and groom to answer, and I think you should abide by their wishes. Like you said, it's not your wedding and you don't have to be a part of it; but if you do I think you should go along with whatever they desire.
Cruiser

+1!!!!

 

[The Louche]

I agree with many: PAs ain't technically correct but Lord knows they are 10x more correct that square-toed rubber-soled KCs. And a hell of a lot better looking as well.

As has been said before, though, this isn't about you. Its about the bride mainly. I recently went through my own personal hell trying to "correct" the attire for my sister's bridal party - a few kind forumites reminded me that I should just bite me tounge and let them break rules. You bet your a** that I won't be breaking any rules if I ever get married though.

 

[clfrucel]

You all have made some good points - knowing the bride, I don't think that she would actually care, and I would be shocked if the groom did. Still, I've known them both for a long time, so I think it would be appropriate to at least check with them first.

Now if I could just convince him to go with a classic tux. :icon_smile_wink:

Thanks for the input guys!

 

[epfunk]

The second question is should you wear your PAs at the wedding? I think that is a question for the bride and groom to answer, and I think you should abide by their wishes. Like you said, it's not your wedding and you don't have to be a part of it; but if you do I think you should go along with whatever they desire. Just ask them if it's OK with them and don't spring this on them at the last minute.

+2 I'm with Cruiser on this one.

 

[ottawa_adam]

If they're making you wear that clown outfit, I'm sure no one would notice inappropriate shoes either. I'm willing to bet this is a daytime wedding as well?

 

[PinkPlaidSocks]

From BlackTieGuide.com -

"Like the pump, formal oxfords are traditionally made of patent leather but can also be constructed of calfskin which has almost as lustrous a finish when properly polished. Whatever a man’s preference, he should avoid inexpensive patent leather as it will not only look cheap but will crack and peel as well. Conversely, he should ensure sure that his leather formal shoes are highly polished to avoid being mistaken for Li'l Abner."

But the bride and groom's wishes trump all.

 

[Butkusrules]

wear the uniform

Hello all,

So in a few months I'm going to be a groomsman in my friend's wedding. He has chosen a black "tux" with a black 2B notch-lapel jacket, black vest, and black necktie - not exactly my cup of tea, but fortunately it's not my wedding either.

I'm not going to bother trying to change his mind on what he picked out, but I would prefer to avoid wearing the square-toed patent leather shoes he selected as well (just can't stand the square-toed look). I recently bought a pair of Park Avenues in black - I'd much prefer to wear those, but would they be appropriate for such an outfit? (would they be formal enough?)

Thank you for you response!

This is about your friend and as misguided as you think his choices are if he picks out a clown outfit you should wear it. Asking him just makes everyone needlessly uncomfortable. In this equation, there is a lot of potential negativitey for only a little selfish benefit.

 

[Mike Petrik]

This is about your friend and as misguided as you think his choices are if he picks out a clown outfit you should wear it. Asking him just makes everyone needlessly uncomfortable. In this equation, there is a lot of potential negativitey for only a little selfish benefit.

Agreed. Asking for leave on the shoes is excusable since it can be explained as a matter of comfort rather than a criticism of taste.

 

[clfrucel]

If they're making you wear that clown outfit, I'm sure no one would notice inappropriate shoes either. I'm willing to bet this is a daytime wedding as well?

It starts at 4pm. I'd love to see the look on his face if the staff at the reception is dressed the same way. Maybe I'll be able to take drink orders too! :icon_smile_big: