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no gifts, please...

14930 Views 19 Replies 16 Participants Last post by  coolpaul55
Does "no gifts, please" really mean no gifts?

Two of my very best friends have been together for 10 years and are having a commitment ceremony/celebration next weekend. They've rented a beach house on Cape Cod and are having the ceremony on the beach Friday evening. I'd say there will be about 40 people (it's just friends--most of us in our 20's and 30's). The invitation says "no gifts, please". Should I or should I not get them a gift?
Also, on Saturday night there is a birthday celebration because one of them is turning 30. Can I get a gift for her for her birthday?
Thank you!
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They should as a matter of tact state that they specifically don't want gifts.
That would imply that they expected gifts, which no one has a right to do.

People who are getting married after having established a household (for whatever legal, social, or personal reason) should respond to requests for gift suggestions with "we really don't need anything, but thank you for asking."

I'm attending a wedding next weekend in which the bride has been married twice previously and the groom has been married three times. It's a safe assumption that people will not be getting them toasters or barware. Personally, knowing that the bride has written several books under her previous married name but will be glad to be rid of it, I got her stationery with her new married name.
we brought flowers in a vase.
Congratulations on your thoughtfulness! The big reasons bringing flowers isn't usually appreciated because they have to hunt up something to put them in.
In a handwritten note she wrote that at their ages, 58 and 68, there was nothing that they needed or wanted beyond the enjoyment of spending the afternoon entertaining their families and friends; therefore, just bring yourself, your good wishes, and nothing more.
I think that this is probably the most tactful and classy way to do it. The note is handwritten on a printed invitation, so it's clearly more personal. It also implies that they're also talking about hostess gifts, which is considered more of an obligation than a wedding present.

I hope the actual note didn't specifically mention their ages - THAT is a bit tacky.
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