no gifts, please...

Canadian said:

They should as a matter of tact state that they specifically don't want gifts.

Click to expand...

That would imply that they expected gifts, which no one has a right to do.

People who are getting married after having established a household (for whatever legal, social, or personal reason) should respond to requests for gift suggestions with "we really don't need anything, but thank you for asking."

I'm attending a wedding next weekend in which the bride has been married twice previously and the groom has been married three times. It's a safe assumption that people will not be getting them toasters or barware. Personally, knowing that the bride has written several books under her previous married name but will be glad to be rid of it, I got her stationery with her new married name.

cjlee25 said:

we brought flowers in a vase.

Click to expand...

Congratulations on your thoughtfulness! The big reasons bringing flowers isn't usually appreciated because they have to hunt up something to put them in.

Cruiser said:

In a handwritten note she wrote that at their ages, 58 and 68, there was nothing that they needed or wanted beyond the enjoyment of spending the afternoon entertaining their families and friends; therefore, just bring yourself, your good wishes, and nothing more.

Click to expand...

I think that this is probably the most tactful and classy way to do it. The note is handwritten on a printed invitation, so it's clearly more personal. It also implies that they're also talking about hostess gifts, which is considered more of an obligation than a wedding present.

I hope the actual note didn't specifically mention their ages - THAT is a bit tacky.