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Black and gray toppers are equally appropriate with morning dress. In my opinion, gray hats, like gray morning coats, are a slightly less formal alternative to the black version. Gray hats will be of wool or fur felt, while black ones can be either felt or silk (hard-shell, not a collapsible opera hat). Many prefer silk for its luster, but silk toppers aren't made anymore and are hard to come by.

Dove grey and buff (a yellowish tan) are the most traditional colors. I think I'd stay away from white, though off-white or cream linen might be nice. Pakeman Catto & Carter offer other colors as well, any of which I think would be fine for a slightly more playful look.

Suspenders are always preferable when you're wearing a waistcoat, and I think you answered your own question about the color. Nobody will see them, so it really doesn't matter. I wear black silk ones with my morning kit, but I could as easily wear fluorescent purple braces with green spots. Doesn't make a bit of difference.
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