[augusta]

First off, please forgive me for starting a new thread if this has already discussed been discussed elsewhere. I searched and couldn't find this topic.

I am getting married this year and am in the process of choosing formal wear for my future husband (he has left this up to me and honestly I am having the best time learning about men's formal clothing... and there is so much to learn!)

I stopped by a tuxedo rental place just to ask a few questions. The sales person there told me that because my dress is ivory (a very rich, creamy ivory), that the groom's shirt must be ivory as well. If his shirt is white, then it will make my dress look "dirty." This just doesn't seem right to me. I've researched it online and have gotten conflicting answers. Some people say he must definitely wear ivory and others say he should definitely wear white.

Here's what I was thinking he could wear (the ceremony is at 3:00 pm):

• charcoal gray morning coat
• striped gray trousers
• white shirt, laydown collar (not a wing collar)
• buff double breasted waistcoat (if I can track one down)
• ivory tie, tied in a Windsor knot

First question - is it okay for him to wear a white shirt even though I am in an ivory dress? (If an ivory shirt is a must, I've heard ivory and gray do not go together so then I'm at a loss for the jacket and pants colors - black?)

Second question - if we go with white shirt and gray jacket, do you like my color choices for the waistcoat and tie? My dress is ivory with a buff colored sash.

Any other suggestions for the overall look?

Thank you so much for your input. I am a complete novice and would be greatly indebted by your expert assistance!

 

[Simon Myerson]

My wife wore ivory - I wore morning dress, with a white shirt. Her dress did not look dirty.

He should not, in my view, wear an ivory or cream shirt. Those are colours for black tie. He could, however, wear a pale blue shirt with white collar and cuffs - or a yellow shirt ditto. Or pink.

If you are going with a white shirt, which is v traditional, then I think a buff coloured waistcoat is a really good idea. It picks up your dress - which always looks like good manners. And it provides a contrast which takes people's eyes away from any ivory/white problem (not that I think there is one). I also recommend a tie with a neutral background (gray/buff) with a stripe which picks up the colour of the flowers in your bouquet.

And, of course, congratulations! I hope he appreciates the care you are taking and that you have many years of happiness together

 

[Alexander Kabbaz]

Congratulations!

The "shirt must be ivory" line from the salesman is born of the tradition of wedding photos always (old days) and often (modern chic) being black and white. In that case, his white shirt would most certainly make your dress appear dingy in comparison.

Since we see in color and your videos/photos will, I presume, also be in color, your only worry is that your lensman be talented enough to capture the creamy ivory color of your dress.

Now ... as to your dressing him ... commendable, but ... if you appreciate the finer aspects of clothing, you really need to inculcate an interest in his part or you will find yourself quite frustrated as time passes. Aren't I just a wet rag?

Seriously, best of luck - and your choices are superb. Post a photo after the blessed event.

 

[augusta]

Thank you so much for your responses!!

I have no idea how to track down a buff linen waistcoat. I have searched for hours online and still don't even have a lead. Must he go to a tailor and have one made? Or is there a ready-made option somewhere? We're looking for the most budget-friendly option!

Again, thank you for your sage advice!

 

[Orgetorix]

Pakeman Catto & Carter have buff linen waistcoats in both single- and double-breasted cuts.

As for your original question, in my wedding I wore morning dress with a blue shirt and a white collar. My bride wore an ivory-colored dress. Judge for yourself whether her dress looked "dirty":

 

[bluesmobile_440]

It's always good to exactly match, but not necessary. I think it looks fine without, but I'm not the most demanding sort.

 

[Bird's One View]

Of your choices I question only the ivory tie. Do a search here and on StyleForum for "wedding tie" for some ideas. If you must have the ivory tie I would recommend a colored shirt -- blue, probably (with a white collar) -- to increase the contrast between shirt and tie. I have never heard this supposed rule about ivory and gray not going together.

 

[Cordovan]

These answers seem to be pretty much on the mark, but I have to repeat not to have an ivory tie. Generally, he tie should have black and white or gray, either way looking kind of gray from the distance - that is the safest way, but alternatives are available. The patterns can be glen plaid, houndstooth, etc.

Here is a good link that discusses wedding tie. Good luck and congratulations.

Cordovan

 

[augusta]

Thanks for everyone's responses! Yes, I see now that an Ivory tie is not the best choice. Thanks for the link - I checked out the ties that are more appropriate for a groom.

I'm still having a hard time finding a buff double breasted waistcoat. The Pakeman Catto & Carter suggestion is very helpful but I am in the US (and the dollar's not doing so good!) Does anyone know any sources in the US?