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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Rather than using the office phone system or coming to talk with me my boss has recently started knocking on a glass window that sepperates us and beckoning me with his index finger when he wants to talk with me, he is also doing this with other staff in our fairly open plan office, I’m about 6ft away from the window but some others are about 10-20 ft away!

I find it very rude/insulting and want to bring it up but I’m due promotion and a pay rise from him (the meeting is about 3 months late, but that’s another story) also I feel awkward bringing it up as he is about 15 years older than me (25).

I’d really appreciate some advice!

Thanks
 

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I'd really appreciate some advice!
You have two options: (1) suck it up; (2) quit.

It is rude of you to be telling your boss how to act.

I agree that your boss is being rude. But the rules of the workplace allow your boss to be rude to you. It's not nice, but it's not a breach of etiquette. If you don't like the work environment that he has created, you are free to leave it.
 

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rude and abusive, belitting behavior is common in the workplace, but should not be. It does not always come from bosses, but it is more challenging to deal with. There are probably many others in your workplace who are equally put off by this. Since no one else had done anything about it, you face the challenge of saying something about it and incurring your bosses eternal wrath, sucking it up or finding a third way. First and most important question: is your boss an d**k or simply clueless. If he's clueless, use humor. If he's a good-hearted guy you have a decent relationship with, have a heart-to-heart during a social engagement where the barriers are down. If he's an a**hole, or if you are hanging by a thread because you are incompetent, a slacker, not essential to your company or an a** yourself--perhaps you should suck it up.

It's not necessarily rude of you to tell your boss he's behaving badly--depending on how you do it--but it could be foolhardy. Particularly in this economy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
rude and abusive, belitting behavior is common in the workplace, but should not be. It does not always come from bosses, but it is more challenging to deal with. There are probably many others in your workplace who are equally put off by this. Since no one else had done anything about it, you face the challenge of saying something about it and incurring your bosses eternal wrath, sucking it up or finding a third way. First and most important question: is your boss an d**k or simply clueless. If he's clueless, use humor. If he's a good-hearted guy you have a decent relationship with, have a heart-to-heart during a social engagement where the barriers are down. If he's an a**hole, or if you are hanging by a thread because you are incompetent, a slacker, not essential to your company or an a** yourself--perhaps you should suck it up.

It's not necessarily rude of you to tell your boss he's behaving badly--depending on how you do it--but it could be foolhardy. Particularly in this economy.
Thank you for your reply. I do think that it is due to him not realising that he is being rude. I think he is quite a nice person, but he does many other things that make me and a number of people in the office think he is totally socially inadequate.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
You have two options: (1) suck it up; (2) quit.

It is rude of you to be telling your boss how to act.

I agree that your boss is being rude. But the rules of the workplace allow your boss to be rude to you. It's not nice, but it's not a breach of etiquette. If you don't like the work environment that he has created, you are free to leave it.
I think I'll 'suck it up' untill my promotion, then ill be at the same level as him!
 

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I'm certain your boss doesn't mean to personally offend you. My boss will actually pull staff off the factory floor and speak to them in his office. But because the conversations occur in his executive suite, nobody knows what's going on, and they may merely be receiving instructions or new assignments.

Just be glad your boss doesn't give you heck or conduct private conversations in front of other workers. I used to have a boss who'd hold a staff meeting, say to discuss the company dress code and pick on random staffers, make them stand up and he'd point out flaws in their appearance.

Thomas
 

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Sometimes a simple tactful anonymous note left where he will find it is appropriate.

If he truly is a good guy who doesn't realize what he is doing, this will take care of the situation without embarrassment for either party.
 

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If he's doing it to everyone, then none of his staff are made to look bad, just him. I agree with the advice to put up with it until your promotion.

I had a manager that was separated from me by an actual opaque wall. She would call my first name so loudly and annoyingly that one day I answered, "yes, Mom!" and she never did it again.
 

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no need to call him rude

If you'd prefer he summon you in another manner, just state your preference.
Window tapping requires everyone to stop work and see who is being called, using the intercom does not.
Make the case one of efficiency, not manners.
Or just overreact to the sound with startled reactions. A few coffee spills should do the trick.
 

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It's always hard to "advice" your boss on what to do and what not to do. If it's me, I'll just put up with it. Reason being if you tell him and he takes it kindly, then well and good. But if he doesn't, you may well end up on the losing end. Being a boss, he can make life miserable for you, if he wants to be nasty because you happened to have offended him.

That said, I'm not a risk-taker and in this case, you are taking a risk if you do voice out your dissatisfaction with his behavior. Anyway, hope you'll get your promotion soon! :icon_smile:
 

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How bad is it?

Does this really rise beyond the level of an annoyance? If your boss is treating everyone pretty much the same in this case, and no one else seems to care enough to confront him on it, maybe you are just letting it get to you. There are so many demeaning things a boss can do and get away with, this ranks pretty low on the disrespect scale, in my opinion, although it is rude.

Since you didn't say to what extent other employees have revealed to you how much this bothers them, I'm going to assume, perhaps unfairly, that it's not such a big deal for them. On the other hand, if you know from being told, rather than assuming, that others are upset to the extent that it creates for them a hostile or distressing workplace, then a delegation should approach the personnel director with an informal complaint. If that manager is competent, he or she will be able to suggest means to deal with the issue that should not get any of you "in trouble" with your supervisor. Retaliatory acts based on a legitimate complaint are dealt with firmly by most well-run organizations.
 

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The morally courageous would inform the perpetrator his conduct is unacceptable. Though in this particular case unless you have a private income you'll have to suck it up. When on a par with the rude person - following your promotion - jokingly inform him of his annoying habit. Chances are the guy doesn't know people find his mannerism annoying/demeaning.
 

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At that point, it's totally fair game to pull him aside and tell him that his subordinates find his methods quite rude. Just not when you're one of those subordinates.
Completely disagree. If someone is being a rude ass, call him or her on it. The worst they can do is fire you, which is preferable to working for an ass. I don't like this idea that just because you work for someone you somehow lose your self-respect and/or dignity. If he values your contributions to the company he'll change, if not, you're better off finding work elsewhere.

Life is far too short to tolerate such people.
 

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Pick Your Battles, Eye on the Prize, Cash Rules Everything Around Me - however the saying goes - this is not a battle you want to start. If you are up for a promotion, suck it up and move on. You'll be faced with much bigger bull$hit than this as you move along...
 

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Raised eyebrows or some other subtle manner of suggesting that the behaviour is not approved of might work, but if the person doesn't realize what they're doing is rude, it's unlikely that they'll recognize the subtle gestures.

As has been noted by others here, an indirect and tactful approach could work, especially if you can find some way of making it seem like you want to be helpful.

It's worth noting that my knowledge of business etiquette is extremely limited.

In cases where the behaviour is blatant and extreme, however, sometimes a polite but direct comment made privately can be both necessary and quite effective. I was once at a ball where the host was being startlingly rude and offensive—while I could understand the reasons for his offensiveness, such behaviour from a gentleman could never be justified. During a break in the music, I politely suggested to him that he was hosting a ball, and asked that he please consider whether his behaviour befit the dignity of the event. In addition to being considerably more polite afterwards, he actually thanked me for my advice as I was leaving. (For those of you who suggest that we should simply have left: circumstances were such that my family's leaving early would have caused a major scandal.)
 

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It used to be so simple: remove your gloves and smack the offender across the face.

I had one boss whose arrogance made an otherwise simple conversation difficult. Rather than confront the situation directly, pleading ignorance once or twice might help alleviate your situation. It did in my case. For instance, you might say, "I'm sorry, I never know if you want to talk to me or if it's the heat coming on in my office. The ducts always rattle, you know? Next time, why don't you give me a call."

Professionalism is not pandering but yours sounds like a situation that needs to be defused. I couldn't tolerate that behavior for long.
 
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