I had a nice non-partisan community organizer stop by a couple of weeks ago and register me 187 times in 23 states under 74 different names. So between now and election day, I am going to be one very busy guy!
I hope I can get all my voting done without having to leave the house that I'm staying in with a dozen campaign workers. We rented it last week so we could pretend to meet the state's residency requirements.
Until then, I'll be spending all my time buying pre-paid debit cards with money sent in by Europeans and donating it all to the campaign. Luckily, the Big Guy doesn't use any kind of address verification on its computerized donation system, so the contributions are 100% untraceable.
Anyway, on election day, I won't have time to vote. I'll be a poll watcher, helping safeguard the integrity of democracy itself.
I hope I can get all my voting done without having to leave the house that I'm staying in with a dozen campaign workers. We rented it last week so we could pretend to meet the state's residency requirements.
Until then, I'll be spending all my time buying pre-paid debit cards with money sent in by Europeans and donating it all to the campaign. Luckily, the Big Guy doesn't use any kind of address verification on its computerized donation system, so the contributions are 100% untraceable.
Anyway, on election day, I won't have time to vote. I'll be a poll watcher, helping safeguard the integrity of democracy itself.
