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First, I would like to thank Andy and everyone who posts here for making an excellent forum. Members here seem to be very polite, well informed and extremely helpful.

I'm getting married in November and I've been doing research about formal wear and trying to make the necessary decisions about the style of suit to wear. On one hand, I would like to retain at least a measure of the traditional, but on the other hand there are aspects of the wedding and my personality that don't necessarily lend themselves to a strictly traditional approach.

I've spent a bit of time perusing the forum over the last week or two and thought that I might benefit from advice about the questions that I'm still grappling with. Before I get to the sticking points, I'll lay out the details that are confirmed.

Details:
  • My wedding is Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos) "themed" - if anyone has any information about traditional Spanish formal wear, it would be appreciated as my searches online haven't uncovered anything of note
  • My fiance will be wearing a deep red and black dress with a Spanish flair
  • I will be wearing tall TUK Creepers shoes. I haven't decided on the style, but most likely the "standard" weave pattern toe. (example: )
  • I would like the suit fabric to be closely spaced, relatively fine tone-on-tone black wool
  • I will be wearing either a deep red or black shirt, fold down collar, french cuffs, contrasting tie in black or red pattern. I would consider a bow tie but my fiance has expressed her preference here :)
  • For reference, pictures:
    • Me in my one suit (pinstripe Calvin Klein 44S, in need of tailoring):
    • Christmas photos: ,
Issues:
  • My height and weight: I'm 5'4" in height and weigh 195 lbs. 44S sizes are too long... I went to https://www.jimmyaus.com in Woodland Hills and though they have 44XS, they normally only carry notch lapel dinner jackets. I was very disappointed
  • I don't know whether to go with a shawl collar or peak lapel, or something untraditional like a diamond lapel or mandarin collar. I don't want to go with a notch lapel because I recognize that a notch lapel isn't formal wear
  • I was considering having a suit made through ravistailor.com but after reading about issues with their work here and considering it more, I am skeptical. If I can find another option that doesn't "break the bank" I would rather avoid the uncertainty of using an online tailor. Does anyone have advice about custom tailors in the Southern California area (I know there must be a few of you around here!)? I have a little room to work in my budget but suggestions that are in the $600-$1500 range are the most appreciated
  • Correlary: anyone ever heard of this guy? https://www.johnathanbehr.com
  • Waistcoats: I love high waistcoats but from what I read, some feel that nothing higher than a 3 button or perhaps 4 button waistcoat is acceptable for wear with a dinner jacket. Regardless of the tradition, for deemphasizing my rather squat shape, what style of vest/waistcoat would you recommend?

I know that there are a lot of fairly strict traditionalists who post here, so I hope I don't overly offend anyone's sensibility. I'm not a follower of "the rules" but one who views that adapting the way things have been done in the past to the current situation is usually the best course.
 
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