going on a date
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date
Pete
Good morning. Simply put, wear what you like. And what looks good on you. No reason to go hog wild and spend. Your age group like J Crew and Banana Republic and Diesel.
There are always nice sales on the Crew khaki. I recommend a nice pair of khaki slacks. Light blue shirt, button down. Or you can do a spread collar.
Stripes are fine too.
Safe bet is to own a black and brown leather belt. If you need to impress. Navy blue sport coat. Or whatever else you have.
I am an old fan of ties. Your age group does not wear that much. The rise to business casual. And I like it myself.
Either black shoes, or brown. Whatever you have. Again, dont go out and spend any, if too much. A lot of things are made overseas somewhere.
If you want to do a blazer and tie. Be simple. White or light blue shirt. Even with a subtle stripe. And a navy or maroon tie. Or what ever you have.
If this is a girl you like. use a nice aftershave.
Brown, or black leather shoes.
Good luck
Personally I would wear the jeans.
LOL
Pete
Good morning. Simply put, wear what you like. And what looks good on you. No reason to go hog wild and spend. Your age group like J Crew and Banana Republic and Diesel.
There are always nice sales on the Crew khaki. I recommend a nice pair of khaki slacks. Light blue shirt, button down. Or you can do a spread collar.
Stripes are fine too.
Safe bet is to own a black and brown leather belt. If you need to impress. Navy blue sport coat. Or whatever else you have.
I am an old fan of ties. Your age group does not wear that much. The rise to business casual. And I like it myself.
Either black shoes, or brown. Whatever you have. Again, dont go out and spend any, if too much. A lot of things are made overseas somewhere.
If you want to do a blazer and tie. Be simple. White or light blue shirt. Even with a subtle stripe. And a navy or maroon tie. Or what ever you have.
If this is a girl you like. use a nice aftershave.
Brown, or black leather shoes.
Good luck
Personally I would wear the jeans.
LOL
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913 Posts
We need more info in terms of where you are going and what you are doing...I would guess a suit is overkill 
I love when guys post asking what to wear on a date - it is nice to know you care so much!!
I love when guys post asking what to wear on a date - it is nice to know you care so much!!
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11,821 Posts
pete5555:
There are several helpful articles linked from the Home Page.
First read the series How To Look Your Best to find the styles/colors/etc that make you look good!
How to Look Your best
Cracking the Dress Code
What to Wear and When
On the dating scene > How to Pick Up Women!
There are several helpful articles linked from the Home Page.
First read the series How To Look Your Best to find the styles/colors/etc that make you look good!
How to Look Your best
You can check out the Dress Code Article to see what's appropriate for your date:Cracking the Dress Code
And don't forget to review this one:What to Wear and When
On the dating scene > How to Pick Up Women!
Give us some more info on what you plan on doing.
I would look nice, but don't go overboard on the first date. You don't want to feel out of place or uncomfortable.
That said, women do tend to appreciate the guy that puts a little extra effort into his appearance than the average t-shirt and baseball cap guy.
I would look nice, but don't go overboard on the first date. You don't want to feel out of place or uncomfortable.
That said, women do tend to appreciate the guy that puts a little extra effort into his appearance than the average t-shirt and baseball cap guy.
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2,633 Posts
I am single, divorced, out of my last long term relationship for over a year and dating....So if it is an afternoon or just cup or tea I will wear chinos and an appropriate shirt and now sweater, jacket, etc. Maybe penny loaders, maybe a roper style boot.
For a dinner in the evening I will wear nice slacks, maybe a jacket, depending on where we are going, a nice shirt..... I think you have to look at where you are going, let your date know how you are dressing, dressy, casual etc., so that they can be appropriately dressed, or ask them, do you want to go casual or a bit more dressed up.
Good luck
For a dinner in the evening I will wear nice slacks, maybe a jacket, depending on where we are going, a nice shirt..... I think you have to look at where you are going, let your date know how you are dressing, dressy, casual etc., so that they can be appropriately dressed, or ask them, do you want to go casual or a bit more dressed up.
Good luck
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5,988 Posts
Without knowing more about where you are going on your date it's hard to suggest something to wear. I will say that I disagree with my friend Jimmy (DukeGrad) about the khaki pants. I have never liked khakis for date night. Love them for business casual with a blazer or sport coat and other daytime casual wear, but not for Saturday night.
Personally if it isn't a dressy affair I tend to either dress down wool pants or dress up jeans, depending on where I'm going. For example, one night last week I went to a party and wore a navy suit with a white dress shirt and no tie. There were no ties at the party and my date thought I looked very stylish, better than most of the others. Then a few nights later I went out to dinner at a casual restaurant where I wore a pair of jeans with a white/blue striped dress shirt and a navy blazer. As before, my date said that she liked the way I looked.
In any situation where I know that a coat and tie will be somewhat out of place or in a situation that I know will be extremely casual, I almost always try to blend some elements of dressy with elements of casual to sort of bridge the gap between the two. That way I will never feel totally out of place.
Cruiser
Personally if it isn't a dressy affair I tend to either dress down wool pants or dress up jeans, depending on where I'm going. For example, one night last week I went to a party and wore a navy suit with a white dress shirt and no tie. There were no ties at the party and my date thought I looked very stylish, better than most of the others. Then a few nights later I went out to dinner at a casual restaurant where I wore a pair of jeans with a white/blue striped dress shirt and a navy blazer. As before, my date said that she liked the way I looked.
In any situation where I know that a coat and tie will be somewhat out of place or in a situation that I know will be extremely casual, I almost always try to blend some elements of dressy with elements of casual to sort of bridge the gap between the two. That way I will never feel totally out of place.
Cruiser
Several good suggestions so far:
-Hard to recommend something without details.
-Depends on the activity.
-Avoiding khakis is a nice touch.
-Let your date know how you are dressing, how you want her to dress, or ask for input. (I don't know why we always tend to treat it as a guessing game.)
-Wear nice aftershave.
-No reason to go hog wild and spend. (Unless you're going to do that anyway.)
I'm not a fan of the "your age group likes this kind of store/style" idea and respectfully disagree with DukeGrad on that point. If you like the look, by all means shop there; it is helpful to have a go-to store with a known acceptable style. Doing it on account of your age just seems artificial to me. I see a very large percentage of 20 and 30 somethings wearing suits on dates around here. I would guess that a lack of knowledge is the only thing holding many back from looking better with their dates, not so much trying to fit into an age group (though certainly a factor with some).
I would add:
-Avoid jeans or shorts (depending on activity)
-Ask what makes her comfortable.
-For casual, I'd avoid a white shirt.
-Check the clothes you have. See what works and buy an extra item to complete the outfit if needed.
-Warm colors feel more casual to me.
-Don't stray far from your comfort zone because it'll show. Clothes should help you feel comfortable enough about yourself to devote your attention to your date.
Good luck. We'd love to know what you decide and how it works.
pbc
-Hard to recommend something without details.
-Depends on the activity.
-Avoiding khakis is a nice touch.
-Let your date know how you are dressing, how you want her to dress, or ask for input. (I don't know why we always tend to treat it as a guessing game.)
-Wear nice aftershave.
-No reason to go hog wild and spend. (Unless you're going to do that anyway.)
I'm not a fan of the "your age group likes this kind of store/style" idea and respectfully disagree with DukeGrad on that point. If you like the look, by all means shop there; it is helpful to have a go-to store with a known acceptable style. Doing it on account of your age just seems artificial to me. I see a very large percentage of 20 and 30 somethings wearing suits on dates around here. I would guess that a lack of knowledge is the only thing holding many back from looking better with their dates, not so much trying to fit into an age group (though certainly a factor with some).
I would add:
-Avoid jeans or shorts (depending on activity)
-Ask what makes her comfortable.
-For casual, I'd avoid a white shirt.
-Check the clothes you have. See what works and buy an extra item to complete the outfit if needed.
-Warm colors feel more casual to me.
-Don't stray far from your comfort zone because it'll show. Clothes should help you feel comfortable enough about yourself to devote your attention to your date.
Good luck. We'd love to know what you decide and how it works.
pbc
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1,029 Posts
I'm interested in the 'no khakis' suggestions as well. I think I have subconsciously gone in this direction (for Saturday night), but I've only recently heard such a maxim actually articulated. I was visiting a friend in Manhattan (a banker who still has a job), and when I asked him if my attire was okay (before we went out one evening), he said, "well, you kind of look like a hick: wearing khakis in NY."
I thought some more about it. Although I rarely wear jeans during the week, preferring khakis, I do think that khakis can actually look a little bit too rustic for a night on the town. Sometimes chinos can suggest that you are trying to dress up, but this is the best that you can do. Jeans look nice, without such pretensions, and good wool trousers send the message that you actually know what you're doing. Now, I bemoan the demise of "proper attire" as much as the next forumite, but that doesn't mean that jeans don't look great. There are times, usually at traditionally formal affairs such as an orchestra concert, when I feel like wearing a bow-tie as a big "go to hell" to our casual society, but most of the time, it's better to make one's resistance more subtle: wear quality clothing that fits, with an eye for color and texture. An example: 501s look great over slim ankle boots, under a grey cashmere* sweater, and sport-coats (if the tailoring is slim).
*I've actually relegated most of my cashmere to date duty. I've always been disappointed by its durability, and this has made it difficult for me to be relaxed while wearing cashmere. Nevertheless, it's worth having a few cashmere sweaters, because women can't seem to keep their hands off of it. Maybe they just care more about texture than we do.
I thought some more about it. Although I rarely wear jeans during the week, preferring khakis, I do think that khakis can actually look a little bit too rustic for a night on the town. Sometimes chinos can suggest that you are trying to dress up, but this is the best that you can do. Jeans look nice, without such pretensions, and good wool trousers send the message that you actually know what you're doing. Now, I bemoan the demise of "proper attire" as much as the next forumite, but that doesn't mean that jeans don't look great. There are times, usually at traditionally formal affairs such as an orchestra concert, when I feel like wearing a bow-tie as a big "go to hell" to our casual society, but most of the time, it's better to make one's resistance more subtle: wear quality clothing that fits, with an eye for color and texture. An example: 501s look great over slim ankle boots, under a grey cashmere* sweater, and sport-coats (if the tailoring is slim).
*I've actually relegated most of my cashmere to date duty. I've always been disappointed by its durability, and this has made it difficult for me to be relaxed while wearing cashmere. Nevertheless, it's worth having a few cashmere sweaters, because women can't seem to keep their hands off of it. Maybe they just care more about texture than we do.
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226 Posts
Although I am lucky enough to have to have been with the same woman for the past 12 years, I still feel the need to add my 2 cents.
Women should be treated special and there is no place that will make her feel special that will allow you in wearing jeans. My recomendations is to build the outfit around the universally accepted navy blazer. You can dress it up with a french cuff white shirt, tie and grey wool trousers or dress it down with less formal khaki wool trouser and an oxford button down - or anything in between.
This dressed up version is appropriate for dinner at a top NYC restaurant and the less formal version is great for just about any less formal occasion (or restaurant) that is appropriate for a first date.
This of course changes down the road when a day together may be a ballgame, a walk in the park, a movie or just window shopping. IMHO first dates require something a little more formal and with less distractions so you can get to know each other. I might also recommend musems or gallery openings if you are into them. You have the time alon to get to know each other and something in common to talk about.
I hope the date goes well.
Women should be treated special and there is no place that will make her feel special that will allow you in wearing jeans. My recomendations is to build the outfit around the universally accepted navy blazer. You can dress it up with a french cuff white shirt, tie and grey wool trousers or dress it down with less formal khaki wool trouser and an oxford button down - or anything in between.
This dressed up version is appropriate for dinner at a top NYC restaurant and the less formal version is great for just about any less formal occasion (or restaurant) that is appropriate for a first date.
This of course changes down the road when a day together may be a ballgame, a walk in the park, a movie or just window shopping. IMHO first dates require something a little more formal and with less distractions so you can get to know each other. I might also recommend musems or gallery openings if you are into them. You have the time alon to get to know each other and something in common to talk about.
I hope the date goes well.
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Appropriately yours
The activity or venue are paramount, as has been noted. You have said that will most likely be casual. That pretty much eliminates suits. In fact, here in sunny SoCal, getting men to wear suits, even to the opera, is a trial.
So that leaves sport coat, most likely with no tie, sweater over collared shirt, or nice long sleeved sport shirt, and complementary wool or wool blend trousers, leather shoes (no track, court, running, or gym shoes, please) in cognac/tan/russet/burgundy. Save the black leather for more dressy times, like going to the theater or a concert, when you might wear that suit, depending on where you are. Since it is getting colder in the northern hemisphere (if that is where you are), you might consider a 3/4 length outer jacket or car coat, even over the sport coat, if it's cold enough and you'll be out of doors at all. And jeans can look very smart with a sport coat, so I wouldn't nix them if the venue would call for that.
It's fall, so browns and golds and (dark) greens and rusts/brick will look like you know what you are doing. Don't go too dark if you are light complected. Harmonize with your hair and/or eye coloration (hair for outer garments, eyes for shirts). There's a plethera of that in the stores now, with anxious merchants offering hefty discounts to move the goods. To the extent possible, use what you have, since you'll feel comfortable in it and it will reflect you the person. Shift to brighter colors and more contrast in spring.
I wouldn't be too concerned about what your date will be wearing until you are going out regularly as "a couple." Do, though, be sure to let your date know what you will be doing and where going. If you avoid suggesting what your date should wear, that'll give you some idea of how that person approaches things. Of course, if you are going for a clambake and your date has never been, you'll need to coach for the basics on what to wear.
Don't overthink this, or it will stop being fun and become an onerous chore.
The activity or venue are paramount, as has been noted. You have said that will most likely be casual. That pretty much eliminates suits. In fact, here in sunny SoCal, getting men to wear suits, even to the opera, is a trial.
So that leaves sport coat, most likely with no tie, sweater over collared shirt, or nice long sleeved sport shirt, and complementary wool or wool blend trousers, leather shoes (no track, court, running, or gym shoes, please) in cognac/tan/russet/burgundy. Save the black leather for more dressy times, like going to the theater or a concert, when you might wear that suit, depending on where you are. Since it is getting colder in the northern hemisphere (if that is where you are), you might consider a 3/4 length outer jacket or car coat, even over the sport coat, if it's cold enough and you'll be out of doors at all. And jeans can look very smart with a sport coat, so I wouldn't nix them if the venue would call for that.
It's fall, so browns and golds and (dark) greens and rusts/brick will look like you know what you are doing. Don't go too dark if you are light complected. Harmonize with your hair and/or eye coloration (hair for outer garments, eyes for shirts). There's a plethera of that in the stores now, with anxious merchants offering hefty discounts to move the goods. To the extent possible, use what you have, since you'll feel comfortable in it and it will reflect you the person. Shift to brighter colors and more contrast in spring.
I wouldn't be too concerned about what your date will be wearing until you are going out regularly as "a couple." Do, though, be sure to let your date know what you will be doing and where going. If you avoid suggesting what your date should wear, that'll give you some idea of how that person approaches things. Of course, if you are going for a clambake and your date has never been, you'll need to coach for the basics on what to wear.
Don't overthink this, or it will stop being fun and become an onerous chore.
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2,556 Posts
Based on your age and geographic location, a pair of jeans (nice dark crisp ones) should be fine. If you're going for drinks in the village a tie and jacket would be overkill. If she is one of those "creative" type girls, wearing what the forum suggests will guarantee you won't have a second date.
Just be yourself, and have fun!
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472 Posts
I am sure you will look fine based on others' tips here, just make sure you follow Sonny's advice from 'A Bronx Tale', although this is harder without manual locks :icon_smile_big::
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
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I can't speak for others but I just don't care for them for typical date type things like clubs, parties, etc. I'm not saying that others should feel the same way.
Unless you go to extremes to dress them down it looks like you are trying to dress up, but khakis really aren't very dressy so it just doesn't work for me. I prefer a collared dress shirt when I go out and in my mind this type shirt just looks better with either wool pants or jeans. I generally take it a step further with jeans and wear a blazer or sport coat with the dress shirt. Just a personal preference, nothing more.
Cruiser
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154 Posts
Jeans, Chinos, both work well when paired properly.
thanks everyone for the suggestions and the offers of encouragement . i plan to go on a afternoon date on fri and if all goes well a evening date on monday or tuesday the afternoon date will be a short date - getting to know you. iam thinking of a art museum or something similar the evening date will be a dinner and a jazz club fortunately we both like jazz
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^For your afternoon museum date, go with a navy blazer, white OCBD (worn open collar), khakis, or if chinos bother you, khaki colored wool gabardine trousers...for your dinner/jazz club date, what else(?), a Zoot suit and spectators. Also, remember, the sexiest thing a guy can wear for a girl is 'an air of confidence'! Just relax and enjoy yourself and she will as well.
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