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She insists that my tie matches her dress, but I've told her that I won't be there not wearing a black tie. This is causing tension between us and I don't like it. Help me.
You need to be more specific, but I am going to guess it is evening-semi formal/black tie, in which case it is black, only, or, if you are Orsini (fanfare), there are some variations permitted depending on the venue, lighting, number of cocktails ingested, etc., such as Vatican red, bottle green, Burgundy (a marvelous color, tough to go wrong with Burgundy), or "Churchill dots"...

Seriously, this is a slippery slope. You need to not comply but make her feel good. Tough to go wrong with Chanel No. 5, diamonds, or a new Corvette...
 

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Matching ties and dresses smacks of rental wear at modern high school proms. (And you shouldn't do it even if it is a rental OR a prom.) Besides, you would not ask that she changes her dress to match your tie, would you? Tell her that matching is not necessary for people to know that she is your date -- a grand entrance with you two arm-in-arm will take care of that, as will any dances or conversation that occurs. I have never understood this "matching date" trend. What colour works well on one will not necessarily work on another.

Last but not least, you can always find yourself a date that is not as superficial if she will not compromise. I certainly would.
 

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I see that you have two options here...

1. Explain to her that if you wear a traditional black tie that it will make her stand out that much more, which is the point of wearing "black tie." After all, you just want everyone to see how beautiful she is.

2. Give up and wear the colored tie; you can't argue with women. Furthermore, adhering to a fashion rule at the cost of a valuable relationship might be evidence of a neurosis.
 

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I see that you have two options here...

1. Explain to her that if you wear a traditional black tie that it will make her stand out that much more, which is the point of wearing "black tie." After all, you just want everyone to see how beautiful she is.

2. Give up and wear the colored tie; you can't argue with women. Furthermore, adhering to a fashion rule at the cost of a valuable relationship might be evidence of a neurosis.
You have the makings of an excellent lawyer.
 

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This is one instance in which I must object to the sexist comments on this thread, notwithstanding the inevitable rejoinder that they're meant in jest, all in good fun, etc.

That said, how about you don't tell her what to wear and she doesn't tell you what to wear?
 

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I am a perfectly rational person, and I do not need to have the last word. I will even admit when I am wrong, which, of course, occurs very rarely :icon_smile_big:.

Regarding your situation, I agree with all the posters who wrote that neither of you should tell the other person what to wear unless one of you requests advice. Adults do not match colours for formal evening events (she probably does not know this, as so few people these days have exposure to genuine black or white tie events, and their mental images stem from Hollywood, the wedding industry, and rental places advertisements); it's barely excusable for 17-year-olds, and if she does not believe you I would point her to www.blacktieguide.com. For special emphasis, you can show her this link, aptly called "Hall of Shame": https://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/09_Hall_of_Shame.htm

That should probably do it, as no woman wants to be associated with a fashion hall of shame.
 

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I am a perfectly rational person, and I do not need to have the last word. I will even admit when I am wrong, which, of course, occurs very rarely :icon_smile_big:.
For special emphasis, you can show her this link, aptly called "Hall of Shame": https://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/09_Hall_of_Shame.htm

That should probably do it, as no woman wants to be associated with a fashion hall of shame.
No you are not havingthe last word yet a while on this one!

I did not see the current President of the United States of American in this hall of shame. His Inauguration Ball attire should have secured him pride of place.
 

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No you are not havingthe last word yet a while on this one!

I did not see the current President of the United States of American in this hall of shame. His Inauguration Ball attire should have secured him pride of place.
His Inaugural Ball attire may have been in violation of the strict code of black tie, but I don't think it belongs in the Hall of Shame, as it can't objectively be considered poor taste. Breach of code, maybe, but not a breach of aesthetic principles, in my opinion.
 
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