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Is it required for one to always wear collar stays in shirts that came with them? I took out the original collar stays out of some of my shirts and replaced them with some brass ones, but now the collars seem a tad too heavy in my opinion. I am thinking about going without collar stays in my shirts. I recently looked at some pictures in Alan Flusser's Dressing the Man and in some of the pictures of men from the 30's and 40's such as Gary Cooper, their collars looked too flexible for them to be wearing collar stays. My shirt collars seem to look and lay no differently without collar stays than they do with them. Another tiny bonus would be that I would never again have to worry about taking the collar stays out before taking my shirts to the dry cleaners.
 

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I have a pair from Tiffany's that are sterling silver; I've never felt that my collar points were too heavy.

Of course, I usually don't wear them without a tie, so the button is holding the collar together at the top.

Under some circumstances, not only will your collars take on odd shapes, but the ends might start pointing up. It's not pretty.
 

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The problem is 1. A lot of shirts are made pretty badly today compared to back then. 2. They are made to use the collar stays. 3. They'll often look bad without them.
 

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I never use collar stays. Give the collar a good ironing it it will stay.
 

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I always use collar stays. Sometimes they get misplaced. BB sells a replacement kit with dozens of different sizes. I have one of these kits in my dopp kit and another in my dresser. I like the slightly more flexible stays that come with some shirts like Boss, but those stays tend to get bent and unusable somehow, so the BB stays wind up in most of my shirts eventually.
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I always use collar stays. Sometimes they get misplaced. BB sells a replacement kit with dozens of different sizes. I have one of these kits in my dopp kit and another in my dresser. I like the slightly more flexible stays that come with some shirts like Boss, but those stays tend to get bent and unusable somehow, so the BB stays wind up in most of my shirts eventually.
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^Good advice. Always wear stays if you can. Funny...I am traveling right now on business and forgot to bring a set along. The tips of the collars on the B2 shirt I wore yesterday were pointing to the sky last night. Fortunately I was wearing a sweater with it, so that helped keep them grounded!
 

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The problem you're having may not be with the material, but the length--they may be too long, which stretches the collar a bit and makes it look "heavy". That being said, if you launder your own shirts, they're more likely to curl at the collars in my experience. One alternative is to use plastic stays instead of metal, which will help the collar keep its shape but are much lighter. Those are available at BB and a bunch of other stores.

BT
 

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Over the course of about forty years of dressing with shirts that take removable stays, I don't think I have ever discarded a single one. It is amusing to pick out one of those extra long ones and marvel at how long a collar I must have once sported and considered normal. It is sooo embarassing!

Buzz
 

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Some of the plastic stays I have been given with my shirts are quite good.

I purchased bone collar stays from Hackett - £5 for a pair, I have two pairs. They are light and do the job well; metals stays are heavier.

As the others may said, it may be the length and the best way to solve that problem is have a collar kit with different sizes.
 

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I may be in the minority, but I find regular cheap plastic stays to be the best choice from all angles.

They cost nothing extra. They are light and unobtrusive. And any fanciness you might get from metal stays is wholly lost on the outside world.

But most importantly, they have just the right amount of flex against the collarbone, allowing everything to stay in place. I've used metal stays, and they simply stay straight with almost no flex. I don't necessarily want a ruler-flat collar, I'd like a nice curve down. And if I nod, metal stays will push the collar up instead of flexing - not a good thing. Maybe there are nice metal stays made out of spring steel or something, but why bother?

The best stays I've found are in Hawes & Curtis shirts. They have sort of a teflon-ish finish for easy use, the standard size fits a lot of shirts if you're grabbing quickly in the morning, no sharp edges to snag on anything, and good flex.
 

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Even if you think shirts look better without stays (I don't) how to you prevent the impression that you have dressed carelessly? An impression I am assuming we don't want to leave.

I realize that bow ties are supposed to look like we didn't fuss over them but I think no collar stays goes too far in the other direction.
 

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I will second (or third) the extra stays sold at BB. Although I've never had occasion to use the smallest size included, it is a handy little thing that cost something like $10 or $15 for maybe a dozen sets of bones.

Actually that reminds me, I need to go pickup another jar or two as I left a few of them in during laundering and now they are all bent.
 

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Stay where? The stay keeps the collar from curling under, but if the shirt isn't buttoned the collar opens up too wide.

Has anyone on here used magnetic collar stays?
I've never had a problem with with my collars curling under without the stay. And I don't wear spread collars sans tie.
 

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As I don't use starch in my shirts, the ends of the collar will turn up with- out the collar stays.
My shirt maker Creery has supplied me with a variety of stays lenghts over the years, so that all of my various collar styles are covered.
I won't wear a shirt with a tie without a collar stay.
ghw
 

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Wear stays, buy cheap replaceable plastic for their light weight, and make sure they're thick enough to retain shape.

My solution: I don't wear spread- or point- collar shirts without a tie, because they tend to spread open or fall down too much when worn with the top button undone. Exceptions are under a sweater, or worn with a sportcoat/blazer that I know I will keep on. I wear BDs otherwise. My two pesos.
 

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THE STAYS STAY.

As others have pointed out, no pun intended, the stays keep the collar points crisp and correct. The flexible ones are best. especially for me because I always wear non-button-down collars with a tie and collar bar (or pin or slide, as you wish). Without the stays the collars definitely will begin to turn up when you wear a bar.
 
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