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I told my groomsmen that the dress code for the even was black tie and sent them the link to the black tie guide. I then went on to tell them that they were grown men, capable of dressing themselves, and also capable of following the guidelines provided to them of what black tie was. I didn't care if the rented, bought, or borrowed from a friend. On the day, everything worked out just fine.

As for the "bend over backwards and do whatever she wants you to do" advice...hey, it's your life, but I truly feel sorry for people who do this. This is just as much your day as it is hers. If you don't care about these things, then fine. But if you do (and it seems you do otherwise you wouldn't have posted), then be a man, stand up for yourself, and do what you want. Reverse the situation and think about how ridiculous of an idea it would be to TELL your fiancé how her and her bridesmaids were going to dress at the wedding. Well, it's just as ridiculous for her to tell you. If you want her input, solicit it, but this is your decision.

Believe me, my (now) wife and her mother and all of her friends fought me tooth and nail on it. But, I stood my ground and politely explained to them that this was my decision. You can do the same thing.
 
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