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Talk to your wife to be. Explain to her that besides schlepping across the country to attend your wedding, you don’t want to burden them further with the expense of buying new clothing.

Discuss it with her, the way married couples discuss things. Her family doesn’t matter. What matters is what the two of you want. Time to grow up and make decisions together without the input of your families.
 

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LOL. While I applaud what you are proposing and would gladly have followed such advice back in the day, at this point in my life I feel compelled to ask; "have you met Bridezilla and more importantly have you met her mother?" The maternal seed of Bridezilla is indeed both a fearsome and a loathsome beast, One that is best avoided whenever possible! As both a former groom and as the father of two brides, I have learned that there is but one right answer to whatever outrageous requests the bride and/or her mother might voice...and that is "Yes dear and for how much might I make out the check !" LOL. ;)
I completely understand the instinct but at some point a married couple needs to start making decisions for themselves. Otherwise both will be stuck in a state of perpetual adolescence.
 

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lol, dude really?

not to mention it's what she wants as well since, again, that is what is the "norm" in the NE USA.

i have never seen mismatched groomsman in real life and to be quite honest i think it looks fairly terrible in the photos i've seen. that's not to say it isn't the right approach, more convenient (for some) and can't be done well.
Your comments are at odds with themselves.

At once you say it looks terrible from what you've seen and then indicate that's not to say it can't be done well.

No one is saying they need to be mismatched, just coordinated. It's your wedding. You've been hanging out here long enough to have some idea of what coordination means. Do your homework. Have you spoke to your groomsmen? Do they have a charcoal or otherwise dark suit in their closets.

Otherwise, oblige your groomsmen to go out and spend money for your big day, or better yet pony up your own cash and explain to the newly minted Mrs. why you need to hold off on buying new things for your home because she and her mom thought that the groomsmen needed to match one another.

Someone else mentioned renting. A good option.
 

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Not to mention, her dad is footing the bill! That alone confers a certain amount of veto power.
Why? I've never understood that.

Let him foot the bill but he doesn't get a say. Otherwise, don't. The couple should have the wedding they want and that they can afford.

Christ! Call your own shots. Make your own decisions. Otherwise, both sets of mommies and daddies are going to micro manage your lives. Cut the cord and be grown ups. That why you get married.
 

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What's not to understand? The brides parents have been paying for the wedding for centuries across many cultures. It used to be called a dowry. As for the father getting a say, he almost never does. He is just expected to open his wallet.
Arranged marriages were also the norm. So was marrying your 13 year old daughter to a 50 year old man.
 
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