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Dressed Up Children

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Jonny

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Discussion starter · #1 ·
I have some interesting questions.

1. When and how often do you require children to dress up for a special event (which events)?
2. What do you typically have them wear? (mention both girls and boys)
3. Do you accept if they refuse or not? Compromise? How much do you let them choose clothes? Nothing at all or a little bit?
4. Do your children like dressing up or not?
5. When having your children dressed up, do you think it's important to dress up yourself (would mostly matter if the children hate dressing up)? If yes, do you think the parents shall dress up to a clothing standard that is at least as high as the children, or just a little bit better than otherwise?
 
#4 ·
My son, now 14, has for 6 years worn jacket and tie to the symphony and occasionally to other events.

He also had a seersucker suit but now that he is growing so rapidly it has not been replaced. He likes getting

dressed. He generally wears khakis and cords and I am blessed-he does not have, or want any jeans.
 
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#5 ·
What is appropriate attire in a given situation is not dependant upon age. If there is reason for me to "dress up", there is reason for the children to do so often. Do they like it? I don't care. I'm the adult, they are the child, they do as they're told.
 
#6 ·
Hanzo said:
What is appropriate attire in a given situation is not dependent upon age.
Click to expand...
Well, this isn't really correct. What is correct, I think (and what Hanzo perhaps meant), is that certain situations require a certain level of attire of all persons, regardless of age. Certainly "appropriate attire" is different for adults and children in some contexts: my wife and my infant daughter do not wear the same sorts of clothes, although they often wear clothes of comparable formality. A third-grade boy can be dressed to peak formality much more readily than a man, because nobody expects the boy (and it is not really feasible to procure for a boy) to wear bench-made balmorals, a fully canvassed jacket, and a Charvet tie; he can get away with rubber-soled shoes and a blazer.

Dressing appropriately is something that children need to be taught, just like reading, writing, and table manners. One can make reasonable efforts to diminish a child's objections (e.g. don't buy him goofy acrylic Christmas sweaters), but in the end Hanzo is correct: children take orders from their parents, who have every right to issue them.

For the record, my under-a-year-old daughter wears an assortment of smocked and lacy dresses to church and out to other nice events where she can be taken. At home she is kept in much rougher-wearing clothing as she tears around and gnaws on things on the floor. That's pretty much a good approach for kids until they get to be more or less in high school.
 
#7 ·
Yes, that is exactly what I meant.

To add on an antecdote, at several recent weddings I have observed parents dressed appropriately (father is in a suit, mother in a dress) with the kids in jeans and tshirts. It took everything I had in me to resist admonishing everyone there.
 
#8 ·
It appears that I am having a greater sartorial influence on my grandsons than any lasting influence I may have had on either of our adult daughters. Growing up, our daughters generally dressed in what most would consider a preppy style and it was customary through most of their high school years to clean-up and dress for dinner (almost) every evening. However, as they mature and raise their own children, the daughters seem to be becoming more relaxed in their style choices and they are certainly not dressing for or requiring their children to dress for dinner! :( LOL. I cn only hope they are not going AmJack on us! Yet my grandsons (one seven and the other nine years of age) seem insistent on "dressing like Papa," frequently wearing chinos, OCBD's on Sundays and knit open collar polo shirts on most of the other days of the week. They both seem to have a growing affinity for deck shoes and the youngest insisted we find him a pair of burgundy penny loafers. However, one caution I would offer, as we indoctrinate the future generations as to the proper style of dress...don't be too insistent that they embrace necktie designs that must be tied. The seven year old grandson insists that the tie he wears to Sunday services be one which goes about his neck and must be tied. More often than not, his older brother ends up choking him with it before the tie is taken off, after services have ended! LOL, the break away/clip-on ties do seem to have the preferential edge in this instance! Lesson learned...don't be too much of a purist in educating the children. ;)
 
#9 ·
This issue came up with for me recently with my two guys (both under 5). I'd been routinely taking them to synagogue this summer with them wearing t-shirts, shorts, and sneakers, but I decided that they need to understand that some places and events require more. So I bought them both real shoes, instead of sneakers, and insist that they wear their few non-t-shirts. With fall coming I'll add OCBDs to their wardrobe (I hope to start threads on this forum on best OCBDs for kids). The next step after that is to get them blazers, although I'm not sure when. The oldest sometimes wants to wear a tie (we have two for them), but the tie invariably disappears after maybe a half-hour. I'm pleased that the oldest also likes it when I get dressed up and recently told me that he wants me to buy him similar stuff. I couldn't be happier. I think part of being a father is teaching his son how to dress.
 
#10 ·
eagle2250 said:
However, one caution I would offer, as we indoctrinate the future generations as to the proper style of dress...don't be too insistent that they embrace necktie designs that must be tied.
Click to expand...
For very young children, clip-ons really are preferable (although still uncomfortable). For reasons entirely personal and having nothing much, I think, to do with real capacities of children, I think fourth or fifth grade is a good time to switch to a real tie (that is when I began having to wear a tie to school: my father had to tie it for most of the fourth grade, but I had mastered it myself by the fifth; I now can tie and wear a tie effortlessly).

tocqueville said:
but the tie invariably disappears after maybe a half-hour.
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Of course, on too small a child, a tie is really more of a liability than an asset. Part of the problem is that adult men's clothes, which are meant to fit well, don't go on small kids very well. (Cf. dresses, which can be perfect when poofy, and thus are well suited to girls of all ages.) For much of history, parents solved this sort of problem (and a host of others) by simply not putting adult clothes on young boys: the alternatives chosen were often not very boyish, but our ancestors were not burdened by our pathologies and had numerous tools to teach boys to become men despite wearing peter pan collars.

In short, the question of "what should a little girl wear" is relatively easy. The question of "what should a little boy wear" is, I think, much more difficult, because 1) the traditions are somewhat unsatisfying, 2) regardless of the satisfaction, modern garments reflecting those traditions are hard to come by, and 3) simply shrinking adult clothes for them fails to produce attractive results until they are well into grade school.
 
#11 ·
tocqueville said:
This issue came up with for me recently with my two guys (both under 5). I'd been routinely taking them to synagogue this summer with them wearing t-shirts, shorts, and sneakers, but I decided that they need to understand that some places and events require more. So I bought them both real shoes, instead of sneakers, and insist that they wear their few non-t-shirts. With fall coming I'll add OCBDs to their wardrobe (I hope to start threads on this forum on best OCBDs for kids). The next step after that is to get them blazers, although I'm not sure when. The oldest sometimes wants to wear a tie (we have two for them), but the tie invariably disappears after maybe a half-hour. I'm pleased that the oldest also likes it when I get dressed up and recently told me that he wants me to buy him similar stuff. I couldn't be happier. I think part of being a father is teaching his son how to dress.
Click to expand...
There is also an intermediate stage between nice shirts and blazers and that sweaters, nice ones of course. Sometimes BB has little boy clothes on sale at bigger discounts than on adult versions. There can't be a better feeling than when your son said he wants to dress (read "be like") daddy. You have done well.
 
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#12 ·
I don't have children. But I do spoil my 10yo nephew and nearly 14yo niece who live up north on an acreage. My niece has specifically asked me not to buy her any more dresses, because she's satisfied with simple pants and a nice long sleeved shirt. She doesn't really go for garish logos or prints.

Stuff they like the most? My nephew loves it when I buy him a suit or blazer every year for Christmas. I try not to spend over a hundred dollars on him, and he has even been known to wear his blazer, a sweater or proper shirt and good pants to school if he's doing something important, like a presentation or ceremony. I look forward to the day where he turns fifteen and I can get him a DJ, and 18 when I get him a set of tails.

My niece is somewhat different. Almost every gift I give her revolves around her rodeo activities. She's an accomplished barrel racer and I try to buy her dressy, Western style items. It's harder than it sounds, because most cowboys who do rodeos ride five thousand dollar horses (starting at) and they don't blink twice at a hundred dollar Stetson which is going straight into a pile of horse manure when they start racing, and she often asks her mother for 200 dollar jeans to wear.

I suppose if I ever adopt (I should not have children for medical reasons), I'd insist that they dress for dress appropriate situations (especially when they're attending Church, going to the symphony or live theatre) but would also insist that they have a decent supply of sweat suits, jeans and basic tees. Really, if a 50yo looks silly in a jogging suit, but a 5yo doesn't, I would rather the 5yo wear sweats, while I'd wear a lounge suit.

Although I can't wait to buy my nephew tails and a DJ, I don't think I'd ever insist that they wear it, for most occasions. Kids should be kids while they're young. 15yo is probably the breaking point where they should wear a jacket and tie most days. If I can get my kids into a good private school like I had, I'd be sure they had nice clothes to match their classmates. All theoretical of course, as I have yet to have kids of my own.

Thomas
 
#13 ·
Canadian said:
I don't have children. But I do spoil my 10yo nephew and nearly 14yo niece who live up north on an acreage. My niece has specifically asked me not to buy her any more dresses, because she's satisfied with simple pants and a nice long sleeved shirt. She doesn't really go for garish logos or prints.

Stuff they like the most? My nephew loves it when I buy him a suit or blazer every year for Christmas. I try not to spend over a hundred dollars on him, and he has even been known to wear his blazer, a sweater or proper shirt and good pants to school if he's doing something important, like a presentation or ceremony. I look forward to the day where he turns fifteen and I can get him a DJ, and 18 when I get him a set of tails.

My niece is somewhat different. Almost every gift I give her revolves around her rodeo activities. She's an accomplished barrel racer and I try to buy her dressy, Western style items. It's harder than it sounds, because most cowboys who do rodeos ride five thousand dollar horses (starting at) and they don't blink twice at a hundred dollar Stetson which is going straight into a pile of horse manure when they start racing, and she often asks her mother for 200 dollar jeans to wear.

I suppose if I ever adopt (I should not have children for medical reasons), I'd insist that they dress for dress appropriate situations (especially when they're attending Church, going to the symphony or live theatre) but would also insist that they have a decent supply of sweat suits, jeans and basic tees. Really, if a 50yo looks silly in a jogging suit, but a 5yo doesn't, I would rather the 5yo wear sweats, while I'd wear a lounge suit.

Although I can't wait to buy my nephew tails and a DJ, I don't think I'd ever insist that they wear it, for most occasions. Kids should be kids while they're young. 15yo is probably the breaking point where they should wear a jacket and tie most days. If I can get my kids into a good private school like I had, I'd be sure they had nice clothes to match their classmates. All theoretical of course, as I have yet to have kids of my own.

Thomas
Click to expand...
I wish I had an uncle like you!

I really look forward to buying my sons blazers and other nice clothing. Although I would expect them to dress up all the time, I want them to know how to dress well and have enough good stuff in their wardrobe so that they can dress well when they want to.

By the way, if you're in Alberta, which to me is very far to the north, how do you define "up north?"
 
#14 ·
First off, thanks.

I am from the south of Alberta which is roughly an hour's drive to Montana. In fact, I was out hiking with a friend and my dad and we ended up driving along the Alberta/Montana border for a few minutes.

My sister lives up north, in an area which is frozen six months of the year, as compared to our 2 months a year. They are roughly 800 miles north of where I live.

BTW, my nephew has been known to rock his blazer at school if there's something like a big event or a project presentation.

Thomas
 
#15 ·
Us Yankees forget that there's anything above Montana. A few years ago I drove to Quebec and kept thinking, as we made our way up to the end of Vermont, that we were indeed approaching The End. The fact that we were traversing mountainous territory helped. But then we crossed the border, everything got flat again, and we discovered that all we had done is turn the corner, and we still had easily a third of the continent stretched ahead of us.

I think kids look great in blazers. Your post inspired me to set up an Ebay search for kids blazers...there are a ton on the market, for obvious reasons. That's one item I can't imagine buying new. Fortunately, plenty of people seem to buy new ones. Nice ones (Hickey, Brooks, etc.). And then put them on the second-hand market.

My oldest son recently told he wanted a blazer like mine. I'll wait a little bit before I pull the trigger. But I will.
 
#17 ·
I am extremely fortunate to have a young daughter. She just turned three in May. Dresses are so simple and there are no shortage of very nice dress shops in our area. Of course, there are negative aspects to raising a young girl. She is already well on her way to becoming a young Imelda Marcos. Ridiculous, seeing as how she will not be able to wear any of her current shoes in 6 months. Oh well, her mother and grandmother outrank me by a mile. My daughter LOVES to dress up (and not just in costumes and fake jewelry). She loves smocked dresses and RL pants suits. She is adorable! Now, if I can just get her to understand that every outfit should not be accented with a feather boa.
 
#18 ·
I dress up my kids. Many people from generations before us will tell us that it is a waste of money because of the rapid rate at which these little darlings grow out of their clothes. While I do agree with them I also believe that by dressing up your kids, you are imparting more than a sense style. I let my kids have free reign on what they want to wear and will only step in when it is not appropriate. I even let them shop online with me at Zalora as not only is it a great way to find out which direction they are going in terms of fashion, but its also a fun way of bonding with them!
 
#20 ·
My oldest son, to my great pleasure, is interested in dressing like me, meaning that when I take him to synagogue he wants to wear his blazer and sometimes a tie. I've decided that being an example is more useful than imposing any rules. He seems to enjoy learning about clothing. I recently explained the difference between a blazer and a sport coat, so now he's pointing out the difference.
 
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Guyute82
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